Need a Plan Of Campaign

She is returned home with an enormous bandage on Her knee. Walks stiffly and stretches it out on a stool when She sits down. Appeared Most Uncomfortable last night so (quite naturally) Myself went to commiserate. Wouldn't normally even consider sitting on Her lap as She wriggles so much but put aside My Own Feelings and leapt nimbly onto the sofa and thence onto Her knees. Was repelled. Fast. Furiously. And with a scream. There really is No Way of sympathising with some people. Went and scratched Myself vigorously on the chaise longue. ('Tis extremely difficult to remove My hairs from the velvet.)

This morning went to (at long last!) investigate the Noises from BND. But it had constructed a lure. As Myself walked down My side of the fence there was a tremendous scratching and scruffling and a small, yellow and hairy snake-sized lure was pushed through. Myself leapt in the air and it was withdrawn. Sat and waited at a safe distance but nothing more occurred so continued down the side of the fence towards His shed. Suddenly - more scratchings and out it came again. Waggled a bit, went away and the Noises started. Horrendous and loud as ever. Seem to echo around My head most horribly. Took Myself to His shed via a slightly circuitous route through the irises and sniffed at a small hole close to the path. Immediately the lure appeared accompanied by much yowling. And He appeared from His shed. Picked Myself up and went to put me on top of the fence. Wasn't going to be treated with such an entire lack of ceremony so I scratched His beard (Most Satisfactory if a little rough) and He replaced Myself on the ground. Quickly. Returned to My house for a much-needed snack and time to Plan the Campaign. Shall go see TB for advice. Such an Enormous and Dangerous unknown beast will require at least 2 of Us to subdue it. Maybe even 3.