Terrible

Ah now. Highly unfortunate. Myself is confined to My house. Music Room only. Not the bedrooms and definitely Not the kitchen. And She drove hurriedly to the vets late yesterday evening. All the fault of that prickly creature. (Hedge Hog apparently ??)

Myself shudders to admit to it but is hosting hundreds of fleas. Big. Itchy. Hungry. And disgustingly obvious in My white fur. Shall not be showing Myself in public for a time.

Wonder how TB's sore nose is.

Prickly

She is even more annoyed since She found the washing machine has packed up. (4 days out of guarantee.) So all the dirty stuff from Her bed has to stay dirty. She is already complaining about the smell.

Such a funny creature appeared yesterday: Pointy nose, bright little eyes and covered in prickles. (Highly Painful according to TB whose nose is quite red this morning.) On the other hand They were delighted and fed it on some of My Food. And some cooking margarine in a tea spoon. Had to chase after it to retrieve the spoon. Lucky for Her it was poultry-flavour kitty food that is not one of My favourites, and Myself had already licked it clean of jelly.

Not Only But Also

Not only deposited a very large fur ball on Her side of the duvet but was also extremely sick a few inches further down. (Thought the mouse had tasted a tad odd. Had a rubbery nose and enormous front feet. And only a little stump for a tail. Was bigger than usual too. And very black with soft fur to die for.)

She sat in it when She went to remove Her shoes last night. Next time She might laugh less obviously at My discomfiture.

Mobbed

Was regrettably mobbed by the Fredettes when He fed the birds much later than usual yesterday. Must remind Myself to get out of the way faster next time. They have very sharp little feet. And muddy ones too.

Was Most Annoyed when She laughed at the incident. Shall go make an enormous fur ball to leave on Her side of the bed.

Sadness Personified

They had a lie in this morning after She had made the tea. Nice for Myself too as I snoozed on the duvet until the sun came out and then I went and sat on the windowsill. Debated whether to go down and assist with the second cups but decided against all the effort it would have entailed.

Lucky Myself did, because was rewarded by the sight of 11 Fredettes positively galloping into My garden. Full of hope and expectation of their usual glorious breakfast. (Why the daft birds prefer chicken pellets to their own seed is beyond Myself. Must be more than usually bird-brained.) In they came, little feet pounding over the grass, heads held high, leaning slightly at the sharper corners, following each other at an exact distance. Like a disjointed clockwork toy. But doomed to disappointment. Since They were both still in bed He hadn't put out any feed for them. The Dejection! Sorrow! Disappointment! Was almost too much to bear. Searched all over the place and returned time after time to the feeding tray. Finally accepted that breakfast was not on the menu this morning and left. Slowly dragging their little feet over the wet grass, heads bowed, and not even bothering to mind about bumping into each other. Sadness Personified.

Ablaze

So tired having watched the rats gallivanting in the old wash house for an hour or so that Myself went to bed early. Snuggled into the lovely sheepskin rug Daughter gave Myself and started dreaming of glorious meals of fresh fish served (naturally) on My antique Royal Worcester platter. But was disturbed when the meals started being served up cooked. Burnt even. In flames. And awoke to a kitchen full of smoke with Him and Her attempting to put out a blaze in the grill pan. (With remarkable thought She merely closed the grill and turned it off. Took a few minutes for the flames to die though. Each time He re-opened it they burst out again.)

They ended up with a totally healthy meal of fish and salad. And rather a large number of equally large drinks.

He fed the remains of the burnt chips to the chickens this morning. Which were frankly disgusted. And the entire house smells horrid.

Hungry

Such a squawking when He went out to feed the chickens. Pen had totally collapsed during the night and they had all scattered. When they saw Him coming with food they leapt out from all sorts of places, thoroughly glad to see Him. As it is very windy the couple which had roosted in a tree got blown around a bit when they took off. Looked like tatty brown paper bags.

Spent a totally energetic hour sitting outside the old wash house, watching all the rats through the gap under the door. Think they must be really hungry as they polished off lots of the blue stuff most happily and greedily.

Made Myself think of a small snack before dinner so helped Her prepare the fish.

Rats, Chickens and Wine

Cannot imagine just how many rats there must be in the old wash house - He refilled the trays 3 times yesterday. And still they are cleaned out this morning.

The chickens escaped - again - during the afternoon. Thank heavens there isn't much on the allotment at this time of year. Nevertheless they scratched several large areas in the least muddy places and finished off the spinach they forgot last time. When They came to round them up (in the dark which didn't please Her overmuch) They simply couldn't find the last one. After some time during which They both got bad tempered, He slipped over and swore. She couldn't resist a tiny giggle and They both gave up and went inside. Drank one of Their expensive bottles of red wine and felt much happier. If They had only asked, Myself could have told Them the chicken had dug itself into the top of next door's compost heap. Stayed there all night and helped Him feed the others when He went out this morning.

Annoyed For Other Reasons

TB did its usual - Was upset people were cross so ran away and howled all night. (Some of Us are even more annoyed now.)

The Rat Man came, saw the number of rats and left a whole bucket of poison. Bright blue. And a couple of small dishes to put it in so at least She can have Her hand-hammered pewter pot back. She spent ages washing it and disinfecting it. Now it's a different colour from the lid.

Various People Are Not Happy

Is feeling sorry for YP. So stiff these days and only turns to the right. Poor old moggy fell in My pond yesterday. Clambered out and did exactly the same thing again. If only it would go in the opposite direction. He rescued it and took it home in a towel.

TB decided to come under the fence rather than the back by the fruit trees. Big hole both sides and several rather squashed Christmas roses and daffodils. Everyone is cross with TB who is also unhappy in consequence.

Postman is Most Unhappy about the rats in the old wash house and is now refusing to leave any parcels in there. (Yesterday's got rather chewed. She was not pleased either.) Think He will have to Do Something. And Soon. So He is not happy either.

......and Goings

TB scattered the rats from the wash house. We were helping Him out front and just as He opened the door TB charged between His legs. Exit many many rats followed by TB. It didn't know which one to chase and got terribly muddled.

Daughter took away lots of Her stuff yesterday. Bit worrying - Does this mean there will be no more scrubbles? Or tasty food surreptitiously dropped to the floor when They are eating? On the other hand Myself had great fun rootling around what's left in Her room.

Comings........

Those 4 rats have invited friends to stay. When He opened the door to the old wash house yesterday lots of them fled in all directions. (Explains the postman's scream.) And they have dug under His precious pile of fruit wood and chomped on the rubbish bin. If the possible damage to the fruit wood doesn't make Him take action then nothing will.

YP wandered into My garden again yesterday. Is so stiff these days and walks oddly - Both paws on the same side moving together. Bit like an old wind-up toy. Still only turns to the right and got itself manoeuvered into a corner. So it lay down and went to sleep. Quite a few hours later someone came and found it and took it home.

Another Escapee.

Another escapee yesterday. Young and playful - and rather fluffy in odd places - spaniel. Don't know where it came from but was terribly, huffily, glad to find us. Drank from My pond, gave itself a good shake and chased TB. Who responded in kind and chased it back. The pair of them hurtled around the garden and out on the allotment. Then it heard someone calling and went to find them and was taken home. TB promptly collapsed in a heap under My garden table, ribs heaving and tongue hanging it until it too was taken home.

Rather an exhausting few minutes in an otherwise quiet day.

(Apart from the rats digging in the old wash house.)

Little Bits

Only 4 baby rats today. Thanks to TB. She was very grateful but rather wished TB would clear up after itself. (Left it, chomped upon and slobbered over, on the front steps. Postman was not amused.)

TP reappeared yesterday. Stiff as ever and still only turning right. Wish Myself could work out why.

Chickens escaped again. They rounded them up eventually but She wasn't terribly impressed with His repairs to the pen. Muttered about Heath Robinson and took back Her small garden fork.

Back Again

He said a very rude word yesterday - The rats are back in the old wash house. Now Myself could have told Him that. A family with 5 small ones. If He had stopped to think He would have realised why TB and Myself were sitting outside for a couple of hours.

The Freds are getting distinctly perky and spring-like. Bit early if you ask Me. But they are walking around the Fredettes with one wing down and the other up and feathers all puffed out. Look like a plane turning rather too sharply.

Tissues in the Wind

Sitting minding My own business in My garden yesterday afternoon when Myself was mobbed by dozens of tiny fluttery things. On closer inspection proved to be a flock of 30 or so long-tailed tits. All bellowing 'cheep, peep, peep' at the top of squeaky little voices. Perched in cherry tree for a moment and then charged over to the apples trees, thence to the pear tree and then off again. Reminded Myself of little bits of pinkish grey tissue paper blowing around in the wind.

No sign of YP yesterday. Maybe it got blown away. If so, it will have a problem getting back home again as it only turns to the right these days and the wind is even stronger this morning.

Interesting disturbances inside the old wash house. Shall invite TB over to investigate.

Rotten Help

TB ignored the rats on the allotment in favour of helping Myself and Them with a fence panel yesterday afternoon. They both struggled for ages to remove the old broken one as it was held up with ivy, but finally snipped through the last few strands and it promptly fell over on to His feet and He backed into a rose bush. Luckily it was so rotten it split into dozens of pieces. And TB charged through the gap. Had been patiently waiting for some time on the other side. Encountered a slight problem with My pond which is only a few feet this side of the fence but He replaced the paving slabs that fell in when He had disentangled Himself from the rose.

We were shooed away when He came to hammering nails in (TB kept putting its head much too close for safety. Should have just used a delicate paw like Myself) so went and watched the rats for a while. Even Bigger if anything.

Two Odds

Not sure whether TB is conducting scientific research into the rats on the allotment or whether they are in fact Too Big for it. Sits for hours by the holes (more every day so there is a big choice now) and occasionally moves to another hole, snuffs in it and sits down. And that's it.

YP has taken to wandering everywhere - Possibly because it can't turn left and thus gets very lost and confused. And Myself discovered something else very strange yesterday: If I walk just behind it and slightly to the left I don't think it knows I am there. Got to within a couple of inches of its scrawny tail and it simply had No Idea. Most Peculiar. Is still very nasty though when it does see Myself.

An Interesting Thing

Now here's an interesting thing: YP is just as nasty as it ever was - Snarly, spitty and with horrid little yellow eyes - But it only goes to the right. Why? Wandered stiffly and slowly into My garden again yesterday afternoon and turned right towards the greenhouse. Right again towards the shed. And right again under the pear tree. Spat at Myself and turned right onto the allotment. Wonder if it ever got home again? Would have needed to go left to do that unless it took a very long trek through the field and down the lane.

TB sat and watched rats 'til it got dark but didn't catch any. (They are big. Fat. And happy.) (And very very BIG.)

Not Taking Any Notice

Yellow Peril (of the nasty little yellow eyes) has taken to wandering. Came across it several times yesterday - Is not quite the moggy it was however: Still very objectionable and snarled and spat when it saw Me, but didn't follow it up with an attack as it would have done last year. Walks very stiffly too and only turns to the right. (Why the right? What's wrong with going left every once in a while?)

Rats on the allotment are Positively Enormous. And take absolutely no notice of Myself, TB or even Him. Must have a very comfortable life style, living under the chicken hut.

Restored

Is restored to the rudest of rude health. No lumps, not wobbly, and distinctly hungry. At the moment I could almost reverse My opinion of the vet. Almost but not quite.

Called to see TB yesterday. Was an overjoyed geriatric beagle, all wag and wuff. Took Myself out on the allotment to view the latest rat diggings. Might be worth further investigation later.

The rats in the old wash house are completely defunct. She was so pleased with Him - until She discovered He had put down the poison in an Arts & Crafts hand hammered pewter pot that used to belong to Her Grandmother.

All It Needed

Out came the travelling box yesterday. And in went Myself. In general Myself makes it crystal clear that I Do Not Like the idea but I simply didn't feel up to it. Took Myself to the vet who had a bit of a poke round the lumpy bits (Highly unpleasant) and then I would seem to have fallen asleep. Woke up almost instantly however and at once realised that the lumpy bits had gone. (How?) Am slightly sore and feel pummelled and a bit wobbly but rather fancy a small snack this morning. (Not fish flakes.) If it continues to improve I might call round to see TB later this afternoon.

Ow

Ow Ow Ow. Tummy ache no better - In fact rather worse. Feels like Myself has eaten several large rocks. Has extreme difficulty in finding a comfy spot to lie on. (Currently the corner of the kitchen by the fridge though the very thought of Food makes Myself distinctly nauseous.)

On a better note, the rats have departed to another place. They put all the stuff back in the old wash house yesterday after a thorough cleaning and disinfecting. He will still have to repair the holes in the wall and under the floor at some point however but She needed it all out of the Hall immediately. Couldn't bring Myself to help but They got it all done in a surprisingly short time.

Poorly After Helping To Clear Up

Is feeling very poorly. The big pot of fish flakes fell off the window sill and spread its contents all over the kitchen floor. Naturally Myself tried to help by clearing it up but they made Me terribly thirsty so I had a few drinks in between finishing the tidying. Now there are aeveral big hard lumps in My tummy and I don't feel at all well.

Rodents Big & Small

Those rats are definitely on their last legs. TB caught 3 today with scarcely any effort. Tried presenting them to Her but was firmly (and very noisily) repulsed.

TWWLUTR was insistent that she too had rats - in her immaculate shed - and called in the pest control. Told them she was overrun and that it was an emergency. So they came immediately. Were not impressed, having waited all afternoon, to see nothing but one tiny inoffensive mouse. Packed up all their stuff, told her what the bill would be, and departed. Left their tea mugs on the fence too. Think she was too horrified about the bill to notice.

Not Proud

OLAHF's happiness didn't last terribly long - Is now disappointed that there is no more goose fat. It will have to go back to stalking pheasants. (Which is generally as productive as sitting beneath a lump of goose fat nailed to a bird table and waiting for it to fall off.)

The rats are still chomping merrily on the poison He put down in the old wash house. She is getting horribly fed up however with being unable to move in the front hall as it is full of all the stuff that generally lives in the wash house. At least She has been able to disinfect it all against Weil's disease. (Myself was under the impression Weil was a German song writer but there you go. Even a Kitty of Enormous Good Breeding and Well-Educated Intelligence can get something wrong. Myself is not proud to admit it.)

One is Happy

She couldn't stand the sight of a drooling fluffy mog any longer so She gave OLAHF the last of the lump of goose fat. At least it is happy.

The blackbirds continued their tap dance tournament on the roof this morning. Wish they'd sort out the winner and let Us get some sleep.

Together They inspected My garden yesterday and found that loads of bulbs are coming up. Even some crocus showing yellow there are. And swollen buds on the gooseberries too. Will be interesting if we have a prolonged cold spell.

Happy New Year?

Bad Bad Bad.

Fireworks into the wee small hours and noisy revellers in the lane outside ditto. (Though saw them putting out the empty bottles late this morning with sore and sour expressions so don't feel quite so put out now.)

6am and 5 blackbirds were having a row on the roof. Worse even than the drunken neighbours. And they don't even have the excuse of New Year celebrations.

Just about back to sleep and They got up to go to an antiques fair. He tripped over the slippers He'd jettisoned onto the floor last night. Banged His knee and swore. So did She, from under the duvet.

OLAHF's family collected it late last night from beneath the bird table. (Obviously had not forgotten the last time OLAHF heard some fireworks.) 'Tis back again now under the diminishing lump of goose fat.