Corrie & Comfrey's Kitty Tales

Monday, March 31, 2008

Glorious Start To The Day

No BBC! Yippee! We were Not Awoken by the BBC this morning.
No Things On The Roof either.
What a Glorious day!

Yesterday She planted up Her hanging baskets. Without any help from Myself. (She was using the hose to water the compost and is Not Averse to letting it slip sideways to spray Myself too.) But afterwards went and investigated the tiny plants She put in. Didn't taste particularly good. Patted them straight again afterwards.

He spent most of the day on the allotment being ably assisted by Our chickens and Ally & Pally. Ours consider A & P to be lowest of the low and lose no opportunity to bop them hard on the head whenever they come too close. From experience Myself knows how much this Hurts, but A & P don't even appear to notice.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

Noises Off and a New Trainer

At 5 this morning We were All rudely awoken by Sounds on the Roof. He said it was birds, She said it was rats then changed Her mind to squirrels because it was so loud. Personally speaking Myself didn't really care one way or the other, simply wished whatever it was would Stop. Eventually He got out of bed and shut the window which made no difference whatsoever so a little later He opened it again.

It was like the soundtrack to a cartoon: Cackling chickens (one had laid an egg); the BBC (very excited about the egg too); a pair of fighting starlings; a frog; singing blackbirds and robins; and then Whatever It Was back on the roof again. She moaned as well and then went downstairs to make some coffee.

TB has acquired another Throwing Shoe. Went out yesterday afternoon and returned happily with a fairly new, very clean, white trainer. 'Tis no longer clean nor white, but has been enthusiastically chewed and tossed all over the place. (Wonder if the previous owner will want it back?) TB tried shaking it from side to side but it ended up in a rose bush which made it very difficult for TB to retrieve.

Saturday, March 29, 2008

Unpleasantnesses

The NN (New Neighbours - He of 'My Man' who digs his allotment) not content with upsetting the farmer about the lambs have now joined in with the complaints about the BBC. Quite a heated discussion there was last evening. (Personally speaking Myself is in no doubt that NN can't hear the BBC any more than the lambs ever got into his garden. He just has to get involved.)

Yesterday Myself watched a big Fred on the bird table. Was much too large to fit on comfortably and had to bend its tail right upwards in order to peck at the spilt seed. Unfortunately every time it turned round, the tail caught on the feeder. Gradually became more and more tatty. By the time it jumped down it was a wreck - Bits hanging off, bent at the end, part dragging on the ground. Oh boy, will that Fred have a shock when it comes to preening itself............

Heard Them discussing ear plugs at 5.10 this morning. Think TB got thumped as the howling stopped rather abruptly.

Friday, March 28, 2008

Fed Up

Even TB is fed up with the BBC. Unfortunately it now starts howling as soon as it hears the crowing at around 5.15 each morning. The neighbours who own the BB's must be deaf. Say they never hear it. (Never hear TB howling? Who are they kidding?)

Myself went upstairs to commiserate with Her about being woken so very early yet again. Not a good idea. She was in a really foul mood and didn't even let Me drink from the bathroom basin. Went out to the conservatory and left a lovely big fur ball on the clean washing before settling down on His navy blue sweater for a nap.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Poor TB

TB remains distraught at the loss of its Throwing Shoe. (The fact that it was swallowed does not seem to be remembered, and neither has it caused any major social problems so to speak. Thankfully.) Everything that can be chewed is now being chewed. Mats, cushions, tea-towels, its own tail, the handle of the spade...... They drew the line at ankles however - In no uncertain fashion. Later Myself viewed a magazine hurtle through the air. Apparently this did not give satisfaction as it was left on the grass in a somewhat unreadable condition. Poor TB.

She screamed this morning when the BBC started bellowing even earlier. Said They will Have To Do Something about it. Wonder what?

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Tasteful?

TB's Throwing Shoe is No More. Had been gradually disintegrating from enthusiastic chewings and throwings and after yesterday's exuberant displays was returned as a small piece of sloppy leather. TB chewed at it some more and then accidentally swallowed what was left. 'Tis now a confused and geriatric beagle which can't work out where the Shoe has gone.

Saw a bird sitting atop one of the lambs yesterday tugging out strands of wool from its back then flying away with a beakful. So much more tasteful than the bits of His hair trimmings She left out.

Woken at 5.30am again. They went out rather later to try to identify the BBC but as soon as They arrived all the BB's went inside the hut. They are Not Happy.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Grossness and Happiness

This is Gross. Utterly. She cut His hair (short, which must be chilly) and They put the trimmings out for the birds to nest with. Bad enough. But the birds are most enthusiastically using them. Myself simply Cannot Imagine living and bringing up a family surrounded by His thrown out hair. (Some people have No Taste Whatsoever.)

That BBC (Baby Bantam Cockerel) is a Pain. Shouts at 5.30am and wakes Us all up.

He put the ladder against the old pear tree and after TB had been seriously dissuaded from trying to climb it, went up and retrieved the Throwing Shoe. (Which was almost in pieces and not at all improved from being sat upon by various birds as it rested in the tree for the past couple of days.) TB was last seen way across the field, hurling and chasing, hurling and chasing, hurling..................

Monday, March 24, 2008

Snow in Places

Yesterday one of the Freds hid in the bushes beside the bird table. Appeared to dislike getting its scarlet head wet in the snow. The front end kept dry but the rear stuck out from under the bush. Consequently when it left My garden it was a bird of 2 halves: Front gorgeous as ever. Back snow covered and the tail dragging on the ground with the weight. If only it could have seen itself.

TB is somewhat miffed. Its Throwing Shoe is stuck in the old pear tree following a more than usually energetic throw. So it was squatting beneath looking upwards until a big dollop of wet snow hit it on the nose.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Some Do In Snow and Some Most Definitely Do Not

Snow! Therefore Myself will be staying put today. Inside. On the conservatory windowsill. Next to the heated mat for His seeds. (The dampness outside irritates My delicate paws and makes the fur between My toes soggy.)

OLAHF on the other hand adores it. Currently it is in the garden chasing random snowflakes, looking like a giant grey fluff ball. Hasn't been outside long enough to get wet and its fur (and it has So Much Fur) is standing on end in the cold. There are one or two skid marks spoiling the general whiteness where its paws have slipped on landing. And one particularly interesting one that turns a sharp corner and ends just centimetres from My pond.

The female blackbird is still searching for nesting material, picking up twigs and shaking them to remove the snow before disappearing into the juniper. The horror of being eye-balled by a dozen or so dripping pheasants prompted it to abandon the first nest. The new one is further up in an impenetrable place. Shame.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Overly Concerned With Its Appearance

Those big Freds remind Myself of teenagers - Overly concerned with their appearance and quite oblivious to the fact that anyone else has a life of their own.

One demands food of Him when He goes out to feed the chickens each morning. There He is, holding open the pen with one hand and trying to keep Our chickens at bay with a foot as He empties the food into their pot while they are crawling over each other and Him as though they haven't eaten in weeks. The Fred stands 6 inches away, fixing proceedings with a beady and evil eye, stamping on the ground if it thinks it is being kept waiting, and finally grunting at Him to hurry up. As though the only thing He has to do in His life is to feed it.

But they are supremely beautiful at this time of year and each one is different. Some have big white collars, others a white streak surrounded by iridescent green on their head. One which comes every day into My garden is much darker than the rest with pale greenish-grey streaks to its wings and a fluffy russet rear. And another has the longest tail feathers ever seen. The really pugnacious Fred is almost spotty on its back with each dark brown feather outlined in gold. But every one sports sticky-up ear feathers and bright red wobbly bits around and under their eyes. (Much, much too much make-up on their faces.)

This morning I was keeping watch from My conservatory as the weather was Not Nice and Most Inclement. There was one up on the bird table, hammering away at the feeder to get the remains of the seed. Since it was rather windy it was struggling to maintain its hold on the edge of the tray and the feeder kept swinging around in a distinctly threatening manner. After it had had its feathers severely ruffled and had been hit on the head a few times it decided to eat from the bottom of the tray instead. So it bent over, head down tail up. Sadly there was a sharp gust of wind at that very moment and the feeder caught it neatly on the rear, sending it somersaulting to the ground. Oh boy, was it cross. Shook itself hard and stalked off, beak in the air, daring the other birds to snigger.

As Myself said, Overly concerned with its own appearance.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Chicken Things

The wife of the New Neighbour (the one with 'My Man' for the allotment) (and who is still rowing with the farmer about the lambs) was very confused yesterday afternoon. She had let out Ally & Pally and He had let out our chickens at the same time. A & P came to investigate Our pen and ours wandered over to where A & P live. So when the wife came out (in designer welly boots she found it difficult to walk straight in) to put hers away she found ours in there and vice versa. Found it extremely hard to comprehend. Probably because of the several drinks she had been having with friends all afternoon. She is fast going off A & P - Not used to looking after chickens and they haven't laid a single egg yet.

He has invented a charming way of driving the chickens around when they don't want go go back home: 2 spare sticks from the peas held out in a V shape. If He walks fast enough the chickens think they are trapped between the sticks and go where he points them. Gets tricky when a blackcurrant bush is in the way though. And think He found the gooseberry bush rather painful.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Peas

What fun it was yesterday: He planted out some peas.
1st Myself helped Him dig. Chickens got in the way a bit but then they know no better.
2nd Helped with the laying of the black stuff. Caught in My claws so I crawled beneath and found lots of places I could pop out from. Slightly regrettable when His foot managed to tread on My tail and I jumped. He held it down with a couple of bricks after that.
3rd He put up some long sticks in groups of 4 and tied the tops together with wire. Poked the other ends through the black stuff. Had to do that more than once as they fell over when Myself rubbed on them.
4th Peas were planted. Have been growing in Her conservatory for a couple of weeks so needed tying to the sticks with green string. Took Him much longer than He thought it would because the ball of string bounced nicely over the ground when I patted it.
5th Lots of white stuff was wound round the sticks like a fence. Was a bit windy by now which didn't make it easy though Myself did My best to hang on to the loose ends. Think He got quite cross with the wind after a while. Used some of Her clothes pegs to keep the fleece in place but the sticks were a little too thick and they kept jumping off when I checked them.
6th He discovered that His lunch had gone cold and She had gone out leaving it on the kitchen table. (Tasted not very nice. Myself prefers it when warm.)

Feel much better now about having been unceremoniously dumped in His wheelbarrow and then almost run over by it a couple of days ago.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Not Worth The Bother

The slimy, spotty and gooey stuff floating in My pond is simply not worth investigating. Looks fairly solid but moves away when Myself pats it delicately. Had to walk around the edge of My pond several times until finally managing to trap some against the stones. Tried placing the weight of one small paw on it but it sank so Myself sat down and watched it. When perfectly certain it was no longer moving I reached out with a couple of claws and hooked it a bit nearer. Using the other paw Myself then attempted to lift it from the pond. Surprisingly heavy it was. So heavy in fact that My front paws were dragged down into the water and then slipped from under Me. (Horribly disgusting and sticky that stuff is when it gets between toes and up My nose which was rammed into it. Took a long time to clean Myself and Most Unfortunately OLAHF witnessed the entire episode.)

As Myself said, it is not worth the bother of investigating.

Monday, March 17, 2008

Bare in Places

My pond is full of that slimy, gooey and spotty stuff that appeared last year as well. Seems to be floating on the surface so Myself will go investigate a little later.

They spent a very long time in Our garden yesterday, attempting to put right everything the lambs had stomped upon. Several wheelbarrows of broken bits (and Myself most definitely did Not appreciate being put on top and wheeled out. Totally undignified - especially when Myself leaped out and was nearly run over. Much to His amusement. Shall retaliate later) and large empty patches in places. The Fredettes don't like it much as they have fewer places to hide which means they have to fly up and out whenever one of Them comes into the garden. Such as noise as this makes.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Spreadeagled and Possibly Seasick

The pair of collared doves have chosen their nesting site - Inside the very tall conifer. They go in through a tiny hole near the top and out from the other side. Leaving is easy - They just leap out and flap. Arriving is another matter - One manages beautifully but the other hasn't got the hang of folding its wings at the right moment and invariably spreadeagles itself against the tree which must be very uncomfortable. And then makes a big flappy fuss as it tries to go through with a beakful of nesting bits. This morning it is very windy and the conifer is waving around so they are probably seasick.

TB and OLAHF have (thankfully) forgotten their spat about The Throwing Shoe and are united in their appreciation of the ongoing skirmish between NN and the farmer. For once TB has demonstrated a certain amount of social awareness and only throws The Shoe when it knows OLAHF is not around. There's not much left of the Shoe in any case as bits tend to fall off as it is hurled up into the air.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Nobody Told NN Either

The New Neighbours (them of 'My Man' who is paid to dig his allotment for him) have joined in with the Lamb Argument. There actually wasn't much of an argument until they got in on the act - The farmer had apologised to Us and offered to replace any plant that dies due to the ministrations of his lambs - But now it is almost open warfare. Between the farmer and the NN.

NN threatened to shoot the lambs if they got into his garden. Why? You can't go around shooting things (even if you do like pretending to be Lord of the Manor) and they have never been within 20 yards of his garden. Not just silly - But Enormously Silly, as his garden is surrounded by a 6 foot high fence and an even higher impenetrable hedge. (Myself knows it is impenetrable as every year lots of birds nest in there and it is simply impossible to get in and help.) How he imagines those little woolly things are going to get through is beyond us all. The farmer muttered something very offensive under his breath and NN started shouting. So We all went inside and left them to it.

OLAHF and TB are still not noticing each other.

Friday, March 14, 2008

Nobody Told The Lambs

TB and OLAHF have really fallen out over The Throwing Shoe. Won't even acknowledge each other and walk past staring straight ahead. Hope it doesn't last - It makes Myself feel very uncomfortable.

Such a commotion yesterday. And such a wrecking of My garden. We were invaded by 4 half-grown lambs, all being silly and looking for Trouble in the flower beds. (Their feet simply dig straight through any plant they stomp upon. And they do not look where they are treading.) He drove them out 3 times, getting crosser and crosser each time, propped up the broken bushes and then followed them back to the fence. Naturally Myself went along to help (at a safe distance.) All were safely back in the field and We simply could not find the escape hole. Half an hour later they were back in Our garden. This time He was very very cross and grabbed a long stick. Whacked the closest one. Hard. Don't think it even felt it. Its fleece was too thick. So He bellowed. They left. Over the tulips that had just started to flower.

Meantime She had phoned the farmer who came over. Lambs still happily racing around in the field so the farmer went back home. 20 minutes later She phoned him again. And this time was awfully annoyed with him as his lambs had chewed the new rose tips off and stomped through the hellebores. Back he came. Everyone went to inspect the fence. Which was perfectly intact.

Later on She went out again and as She walked towards the field saw the 4 lambs jump straight over the fence. This time He rang the farmer and She chased the lambs to keep them out of Our garden. Back over the fence they went. When She told the farmer he didn't believe Her - 'Lambs don't jump' he said. They argued for a bit and then He came out too and joined in. Told the farmer that he knew lambs couldn't jump and We knew lambs couldn't jump (very tactful that) but that nobody had told the lambs. Farmer began to dispute this again and was stopped by the sight of the 4 lambs leaping over the fence like woolly rubber balls.

In the evening the lambs were moved to another field with a higher fence. Not sure what is going to be done about Our rather wrecked garden.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

The Throwing Shoe

TB is a beagle of enormous intellect when it comes to inventing new games. (In any other mental capacity however it can only be described as highly challenged.) The Chewing Shoe has been changed into The Throwing Shoe: Thought Myself was seeing things as an object kept regularly appearing and disappearing over the top of the fence. OLAHF and Myself had been keeping watch over the blackbirds (Am always ready to help if needed) and since nothing much was happening there we were sufficiently intrigued to investigate.

Myself looked through a small gap in the bottom of the fence - TB was hurling The Shoe high in the air, chasing after it, trying to catch it, gnawing frantically at it on the ground before repeating the whole process. For a geriatric beagle it has an enormous energy. OLAHF jumped to the top of the fence to watch. That was a mistake.

OLAHF is now sulking again. TB called round to collect The Shoe when it was sure OLAHF had gone home.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Just Like a Plane Banks As It Turns

Oh dear. Two big Freds came to blows in Our garden. The loser is skulking in the bushes with feathers hanging out all over the place. The winner is showing its glorious charms to as many of the Fredettes it can find: Tail like a fan, one wing spread upwards, the other brushing the ground, head lowered. And a very hopeful glint in its eye.

The Fredettes are totally unimpressed and skip out of the way whenever it approaches. Very persistent it was with one of them but all the little female was interested in was food. Rushed to the seed tray, grabbed a beakful and went round to the other side of the big urn. Closely followed by Fred. Went on for some time with Fred finally having to peer round both sides of the base to see where it had gone. The solution was obvious - It had jumped on top.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Miffed

Lots of clearing up to do. Myself was out early helping Them.

She is miffed because the wind blew down the fence on top of Her hellebores which are somewhat squashed. He is miffed because He had only just put that fence panel back. And quite naturally TB went on a rampage when it saw the hole. So everyone is miffed with TB who would appear to be constitutionally incapable of remembering that We Do Not Appreciate an overactive beagle chasing imaginary objects through the flower beds.

Myself foresees another night of howling ahead.

Monday, March 10, 2008

Birdy Bits

Have just spent rather a long time inside on Their bedroom windowsill. The weather is to blame: Wetter, windier and wilder than Myself has known it to be for some appreciable time. Comfortably watched the 3 sister Witches of Elsinor, then another and another until there were at least 10 Fredettes in My garden - They come in every morning for food but today turned left at the juniper bush and hid underneath. (Must have been very crowded by the end.) The last one was late and in a hurry. Obviously had its eyes closed as it didn't see the hose pipe and tripped up. Turned a wet feathery somersault and rolled to a halt. Shook itself and joined its sisters under the bush.

It was Too Much for the blackbird which came out in high dudgeon. (Can't say Myself blames it - Being surrounded and eyeballed by 10 Fredettes as you are quietly sitting on your nest on a low branch must be considerably disconcerting.)

That daft collared dove even tried perching on the weather vane. Like a fairground ride it went one way then the other, flapping crazily and was eventually tipped off by a stronger-than-usual gust and blown away.

I bet He doesn't let Our chickens out today.

Friday, March 07, 2008

Minus Things

Still have the Certain Problem. Had hoped to discover the cause last night but from one thing and another fell asleep. (They had steak for dinner and Myself assisted with the preparation which had involved much 'tidying' of the pieces prior to cooking.) When I awoke all the tasty morsels Myself had been saving had gone and the bowl was cleaned out again.

OLAHF went back to the vet and (to its enormous relief) is now minus the taped bandage. Is also minus rather a lot of fur on that leg. Celebrated by going out to the BB's and leering from a safe distance.

Thursday, March 06, 2008

Fight!

The Certain Problem is still very much in evidence. Shall have to lay in wait.

Wish Him and Her would learn to sit properly. Daughter crosses Her legs underneath which makes a perfect seat for Myself. They don't. And it is extremely difficult perching - As soon as Myself relaxes everything slips.

A pair of collared doves were fighting early this morning. Vicious little things. And they look so charming. Feathers flying, wings clattering and beaks firmly attached to the rival. Went on for ages and only ended when one of them sneakily flew away and then suddenly turned as its adversary took chase and bopped it so hard it fell to the ground. Was going to investigate but TB got there first. Feathers made it sneeze.

OLAHF continues to sulk indoors.

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Myself Is Wondering.....

Myself is wondering where the other 2 BB's who turned out to be cockerels have gone. No sign of them for days. Or sound. Thank heavens.

A Certain Problem is troubling Me: Every so often My food disappears. Always leave a few choice morsels for later, but on My return they have gone and the bowl is completely clean. For a while considered it might be My memory playing tricks but am convinced the food is going Myself knows not where.

Two of the Freds met atop the bird table yesterday. The smaller was shoved unnecessarily hard and fell into one of Her precious bushes. (The one with purple leaves that start lime green in the spring.) Broke off several large bits which She later gathered up and put in a vase with Her Mother's Day flowers. Look very nice with the orange but Myself feels She was happier seeing them on the bush.

OLAHF is still sulking.

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Pig and Pigeon

TB cleaned out its Chewing Shoe after the robins had left and is now carrying it around. Myself supposes that is to prevent anything else moving in.

On top of one of the old sheds is a weather vane in the shape of a pig on an arrow: A pigeon decided to sit on the back of said pig yesterday. Looked like a very overweight jockey. Unhappily it was rather windy and every time there was a sudden gust the pig spun round and the pigeon was nearly dislodged. Myself was highly amused to watch it struggling to maintain its perilous grip and flapping madly. It hung on determinedly for quite some time until a stronger gust sent it hurtling into the air like an old grey hat.

OLAHF is sulking.

Sunday, March 02, 2008

Yes? No! And Nearly...

OLAHF finally succeeded in removing the bandage from its sore paw. To no avail as it was immediately taken back to the vet who re-did it and tied a big plastic collar round OLAHF's neck so it can't reach the afflicted paw. It was NOT AMUSED. Even less so when it found it couldn't get out through the cat flap. Yelled for ages 'til someone opened the door and then it raced down the garden to rub the collar on the trunk of the plum tree. Only managed to bend it a bit and then it sprang back into shape and whacked OLAHF on the nose.

Nearly lost one of Our chickens. He had let them out and the new neighbours' gardener (How Myself wishes he would not refer to the guy as 'My Man') was digging the allotment. (Why? Always thought the whole point of an allotment was the fun of working it yourself.) Quite naturally Our chickens thought it was being done for them and went over to see what had been dug up. MM (My Man) didn't notice and nearly spiked one with the prongs of his fork.