Even Less Love in All Quarters

Next door arrived back from work last night and screamed. Even louder than TB barks. It had escaped from the kitchen and trashed the bathroom. (Why the bathroom I ask myself.) Had eaten the soap (Obviously a beagle of limited taste), chewed the flannels and shredded the towels. Shower curtain in mauled and slobbered on pieces amidst the shampoo and shower gel and toothpaste all over the carpet. (At least its breath must smell ok.)

At this moment Nobody loves TB.

Gave Her a present of a dead bird I had licked into submission. Sad to say She wasn't entirely impressed but have at least re-paid my debt for allowing me to sleep in one of the living room arm chairs each night. (Found the bird on the compost and have saved it under Their bed for later.)

A Lack of Love in Some Quarters

TB loves its new pen. Nobody loves TB.

CM stuck its furry face over the (repaired) fence and withdrew it quickly when TB launched itself upwards to say hello. Not that it can jump very high (hardly at all in fact) but it is the thought that counts.

And thinking of that, I really must find a little treasure to say thank you to Them for letting me sleep in the living room each night. Maybe a rat. Ate yesterday's mouse as it had been senior food pouches (fishy) for dinner.

Antipathy

TB returned late last night. Sad to say it went straight into its new pen in the garden and barked. And barked. And barked. And then some more for good measure. The neighbours were watching tv with it turned up loud and couldn't hear TB. At 11.50 TWWLUTR knocked hard on the front door and told Them. Funny how sometimes you come across 2 households which simply Do Not Get On with each other.

Yet More Diggings And an Enjoyable Amount of Chaos

Interesting weekend.

The men doing TWWLUTR's water feature fractured Her pipe last Friday. Shut off everyone's water to mend it. Discovered the whole thing was rotten and got in the Water Company to replace it. Water Company arrived and dug up the road. Straight through the electricity.

Not sure who was most annoyed. Several fascinating confrontations occurred. Including a lorry which wanted to deliver to a farm up the road and couldn't pass the diggings. And as the lane is a dead end He was stuck. Took about 30 minutes to reverse back without hitting any of the parked cars.

Next door went out taking TB with Them. I took the opportunity to try out TB's flap which is bigger than mine. Thought Their garden was a mess but you should see in the house. Too much even for me. (Flap is a good one though. No struggle at all to get through.)

Big Digs in 2 Gardens

Ally and Pally are back in their pen. Dried out and somewhat fluffier than usual but just as stupid. The door is now closed with a padlock. 'Tis beyond me how 2 such daft birds managed to get out.

TB's patch next door is taking shape. A large part of its garden is enclosed with wire up to height of about 30 inches. The men came back yesterday and started to tidy everything up and the neighbours seem pleased. Wonder what TB will make of it.

TWWLUTR whose flower bed TB wrecked had people in to 'do it up'. 3 vans parked out front and absolutely massive amount of works taking place. Even a small mechanical digger removing soil at an alarming rate. (TB eat your heart out.) Surely one geriatric beagle cannot possibly have damaged all that. Now She has a water feature and some paving. Think they will be back to put in some plants. Must go help if the weather isn't too bad.

Why Am I The Only One With More Than Half a Brain Cell?

Men next door have started their own diggings - Marking out a square on one side of the garden (mine) and up to the back of the house where TB's flap is. Interesting. TB sits watching and trying to work it out.

Ally and Pally got out last night. They really are bird brains. Was pouring with rain and instead of going back in they just sat under a bush and got absolutely soaked. Looked like a tramp's wet washing this morning. And probably smelled like it too but I didn't get close enough to find out. Were taken indoors to be dried out.

Still need to find a suitable present for Them for letting me sleep by the fire each night. When it stops raining I shall go see if I can find a rat. The mud and the wet won't stop me in my pursuit of a Good Gift for Them. (Is single minded when called for.)

Wire and Stakes

Two men with rolls of stiff wire and metal stakes are working amid the destruction of TB's garden. Wonder why. It is still sorrowfully shut in the house, watching through the back door.

Is off to find some small prezzie for Them since They seem to have got in the habit of leaving me to sleep in the living room. By the fire. In my own chair. Life is good on the home front at the moment.

Howls and Warmth By the Fireside

TB is not a happy little beagle. Sat and howled yesterday. They had gone to work and it was shut up in the house with only a soft toy for company. Feel sympathetic but when I went to commiserate it didn't even look at me through the window. Hope the garden is made beagle-proof this weekend. Can't stand to see an animal unhappy. (That-Woman-Who-Lives-Up-The-Road with CB doesn't count as an animal. Shame her garden was wrecked but there you go.)

A really disgusting night last night. Wind and rain non-stop. Consequently missed my usual visit to CB's new (and disgracefully OTT) conservatory. Slept in the arm chair by the fire instead. Very considerate of Them to let me stay in the lounge. Am generally put in the kitchen at night. Shall have to find a small token of my affection for Them.

Pathos and Disgust

TB is shut in house and its door flap is nailed up. Can just see its sorrowful little face. Is not a very intelligent dog so I doubt it understands. Pathetic.

CB is having its food hand delivered in that new conservatory. Knows full well that I can see. Sickening.

Smugness and a Lack of Eggs

Is jealous. CM's new conservatory is huge and stunning. Even has its own water feature for CM to drink from. And CM is going to be unbearably smug from now on. Shall have to remind it how it got its initials - (Cowardly Mog.)

They thought the chickens had stopped laying even though they were eating up all their food every day, but when They moved the hut yesterday there were lots of eggs hidden underneath, And 5 very plump brown rats. I was out there helping Them get things done, but unfortunately was the wrong side of the pen when the rats ran out. Had they made their exit on my side I could have dispatched them all very easily and quickly. Shall have to wait another week for that pleasure.

CM is Smirking

No sign of TB this morning. Nothing is stirring so went and looked in its garden. Tis truly the stuff of nightmares. Wasn't much to see before the advent of TB, but now like a reconstruction of Apocalypse Now.

TB has its own dog flap in the back door. Rather larger than mine (which has been far too small for several months having shrunk in the rain) - Must make a mental note to try it out one day when They and TB have gone out.

Since I had nothing of great importance awaiting my attention decided to visit CM as hadn't seen it for a while. Now there was a surprise. No wonder it hadn't been around. Has beautiful - and very large - conservatory at the back of its house. Classy. Sunny. Warm. Furnished. And much bigger than Ours. CM was in there, smirking. Made a hasty exit before it saw me and returned home. Must make another mental note not to mention conservatories next time we meet. (Though I have a cat flap and CM doesn't which will even things up a bit. Shall tell it how convenient the flap is etc. etc.)

Righteous Wrath and Some Wine

That-Woman-Who-Lives-Up-The-Road (where CM resides) is horribly annoyed. TB dug under her fence yesterday and came up in the middle of her prized flower bed. If She is to be believed it has thus destroyed a life time's work not to mention half a dozen precious plants. (TB is a small beagle for heaven's sake. Not a darn great rhinoceros. Though to be fair to Her has seen the mess it made of its own garden so suppose it could have caused destruction on that scale in Hers.)

Anyway, last night She marched down the lane bearing some wilted remnants in Her gardening gloves. The neighbours were suitably apologetic (and equally horrified) and invited Her in. Some time (and several glasses of wine) later She went back home, still carrying the remains but not quite so apoplectic. He spent ages by torchlight mending Her fence.

TB is an exciting new addition to our neighbourhood.

Wrath To Come?

Ally and Pally met TB. They were not amused. Think it just wanted to be friendly - It might be messy and chew things but I see no harm in it myself - but A & P just panicked. Fluff, feathers and squawks everywhere. TB sat down and watched in amazement. Neighbours from the other side came our to see what all the fuss was about and shooed TB away.

Of course it had escaped yet again (through the fence between it and The-Woman-Who-Lives-Up-The-Road, who if I know Her will be full of wrath) and quite naturally it couldn't find its way back home again. So it sat down again and howled. Loud and Long.

Was last seen being taken home, protesting, by a heavy hand on its collar.

Chomp

TB goes from strength to strength - or rather, mess to mess and hole to hole. He Chews. Anything that comes to hand.

Sitting in my garden yesterday afternoon listening to the various interesting sounds emanating from the other side of the fence when I suddenly became aware of something moving in a tiny hole at the bottom behind the bushes. When I went to investigate it proved to be a pinkish snout with yellowish teeth. Chomping merrily on my fence. Half an hour later the head was through and then a grubby paw, scratching at the earth. And a leg. And a big happy smile.

And then the Neighbours returned. TB is banished to the house and He is putting another plank in the fence.

Truly Awesome

TB (That Beagle) next door is showing its true colours. I retract entirely what I said about its being a nice enough sort of dog though a bit stupid. It is Truly Awesome.

Never, ever in the course of a long and eminently successful life have I seen one medium sized beagle make so much mess in such a short space of time. It has excavated at least a dozen holes in the garden. Scratched up much of what was left of the lawn. Utterly destroyed the charming arrangement of potted plants round the old tree stump - and most of the plastic pots. Chewed one of the bushes to shreds. Torn down the washing and fought a long battle with the sheets.

I am silent and stilled in sheer admiration.

Bops and Brainstorms.

TB (That Beagle) is having a brainstorm. Since it got into my garden it has done nothing but try to come back. The neighbours fixed the hole in the fence and TB is even now digging from its side. Had a sneak look from the conservatory roof and the place looks like a building site. Muddy earth and holes all along the fence. And TB is equally messy. A completely different class from the mole on the allotment. It should come see how to do things properly.

Went to talk to the chickens yesterday and watched as the big black one bopped a rat on the head. Good shot. Bet its headache is worse than mine was.

A Soul in Torment

Headache lasted all yesterday. Is re-thinking that medical break through: Wasp + kiwi might help the pain but is not a good combination the day after.

Next Door's beagle came in and said hello this morning. Seems a nice enough dog if a trifle stupid. Pushed at part of the fence and squeezed through but then discovered it couldn't push back in the opposite direction. Seemed unfazed though and investigated my plot, drank from the pond, kicked up a bit of moss and earth in a corner and generally wandered around for an hour.

When it wanted to go home it had forgotten it couldn't get back through the fence. Tried for ages, even attempted to dig in the concrete around the post. Nothing worked. So it sat down and howled. Has never heard such a sound in all my life. On and on and on. Like a soul in torment (which it probably thought it was.) A mixture of ow-ow-ow and oo-oo-oo and with a sob at the end. Most pathetic. I went indoors and left it to it. Can't stand to see (and hear) an animal make a fool of itself in public like that.

40 minutes later the people it lives with came home from shopping and rescued it. Brought us a bottle of wine later on to say sorry. Very kind, but totally unnecessary as They had been out all day and knew nothing about it.

Sting Versus Kiwi

Has made a medical breakthrough - That wasp sting was very bad yesterday (Notice that the stings get more painful as the year goes on. Wonder why?) so sought solace in the kiwi vine. Chewed on a small frond which had just caught the frost and consequently smelled gorgeous and after a while the pain was distinctly less. Nested up there on the conservatory roof til it got dark and then came in for tea. Bad headache this morning though.

To Fly Or Not To Fly?

Ally and Pally went walkabout. Very funny watching Them-Next-Door trying to get them back in the pen. For large baby chickens they can't half shift. Hurl themselves up into the air and flap wildly. Haven't quite got the hang of things and career off in all directions. Landing must be quite painful - Is certainly undignified.

Trod on a wasp yesterday. Extremely painful. They eat the last apples which are soggy and mushy and smell odd and then they stagger around everywhere. Which reminds me - The kiwi smells alluring since the frost. Shall go check it out.

Fluff and Fur

Mole hills all over the place. It had better take care it doesn't stray into the garden or She will go Bananas Big Time. The allotment looks like a battle zone what with the new diggings and the bits They stamped down yesterday. Think They need some advice on how to get rid of the black furry things.

And talking of furry things - The rats are all over the place too. Must be autumn.....

Ally and Pally are charming. Come to look at Myself and make contended chicken sounds at me when I wander over. All beige fluff and no substance as yet. Saw one try to fly yesterday. Interesting effort.

Invaders

Things back to normal after the bangs and flashes. He picked up all the burnt bits from the garden and allotment and She tidied in the garden. I went to talk to the new chickens the Neighbours have. Big beige fluffy babies they are. Wonder how large they will grow.

Our chickens have been invaded by rats who are nesting under the hut. Also big and brown but not as charming as Ali and Pally. (See above.) Saw 5 of the things in the pen scattering in all directions as I arrived. Must tell Him to put down more poison under the big pot.

And the mole is back. Big mounds of earth in the grass and sunken channels going from one to the other. Watched Him and Her in welly boots stamping them down. He will have to fill all the holes and channels or She will be breaking Her leg.

More Bangs and Flashes

Think the world is coming to an end. So many bangs, crashes and flashes last night again - and from out on the field this time. Big fire too. (Bet the rats didn't like that as they had moved in to the pile of wooden bits and pieces.) Went and slept under Daughter's duvet for protection. The old beagle next door howled for hours. Don't think it liked the noises either.

This morning the air still has that funny smell and there are a few burnt bits of paper and stick in the garden. No sign of the F's and F'lets.

She says She feels better and got up the usual time. Fed me a decent breakfast too. How kind.

Bangs and Flashes

Has fur standing on end and tail like a bottle brush. Last night was scary - Bangs, crashes and flashes and a most unusual smell. Tried going outside once or twice but it was All Too Much and in the end I hid in one of the spare bedrooms under some of Her rejected clothing. Found a big spider so did not go entirely hungry.

Shall venture forth when I hear Them get up. (Probably quite late as They don't like it when it's cold and lie in bed for an hour.) Seems all quiet now so maybe I could go join Them and snuggle round Her feet...

Still Poorly

Good day yesterday - She stayed in bed, poorly, so I slept up there and kept Her company. Today looks like being just as good. Won't spoil it by telling Her all the F's and F'lets are back in the garden.

Bit Poorly

She is a bit poorly so am staying in Her bedroom to keep Her company. Wish She wouldn't keep turning over in bed and pushing at me with Her feet though. Just get snoozy and start to wash before going to sleep and then over She goes again.

Rats and Chill

Has found this season's new rat nest beneath the chicken house. Late arriving this year. Must be due to the warm weather. But definitely chilly last night. Funny how those little furry things seem to know when it's going to be cold. They don't look bright enough to work out anything like that.

She took down the high netting yesterday. (Think He got fed up trying to step over it without tripping up and spilling the chicken food everywhere.) So much food lying around at that end of the garden now it will take the F's and F'lets days to clear it up.