Dim. Extremely

TB is Dim Dim Dim. Pouring with rain and it still came in and sat in my back garden. Looked very wistful (and wet) as it waited for me to come out and say good morning.

Absolutely No Chance my little doggy friend. Watched it from the shelter of the conservatory. After 10 minutes or so it got up and went back out. Soggily. Drooping of nose and tail. Paws sinking into the mud where the little path once was.

Aaaww.

But very Dim.

The Dimness of a Dog

Hhmmm. TB has taken to coming into the garden. Greets me with a waggy tail (Just shows the Dimness of Dogs - I use my tail to indicate annoyance) and smiles and sits down. After a while it gets up again and wanders off. Occasionally pokes its pink nose through a hole in the fence and snuffs. Can't work out Why.

Chickens are most definitely not happy. The mud is getting worse with all this rain. He lets them out every so often and they race for the broccoli and hide beneath it muttering to themselves.

A New Friend

TB (That Beagle) came round to say hello yesterday. It's quite a nice animal for a dog. Not terribly bright but friendly. And it doesn't yap like the one the other side.

Wandered into the garden and stood there gently wagging its tail. So I went over. Quick sniff from both sides and then it sat down and smiled. So I did too. After a while it got up and wandered out again. Saw its little pink nose through a hole in the fence later but it didn't bark as it usually does.

Wonder what sort of food it gets.

Cleaning The Fishes

Yesterday I helped Her clean out the baby fishes. (Not quite so baby now. Becoming a sizeable snack size.)

She put them in a bowl on top of the unit. Then put a lid on when I went to make friends. Rocks and weed went on a tray - The water there tasted fantastic. She added a bit more for me. Tried the weed but t'was rather slimy. Sat and watched the fishes carefully for Her while She scrubbed the tank.

When She put them back in their home I drank the water they had been swimming in. Delightful taste.

What a nice way to spend a wet afternoon.

Exit UG

Very much doubt UG will ever return.

Last night They waited in ambush. (She is still complaining about the smell. For once I agree.) Armed with the living room cushions.

11pm UG wandered in and straight to my food bowl as usual.

11.01pm They attacked it with the cushions. Not sure who screamed the loudest out the 3 of them.

11.02pm UG went mental, racing around the kitchen half way up the cupboard doors - (That was truly a sight to see) - as it was clobbered with the cushions.

11.03pm UG re-discovered my cat flap and exited. Sideways. (Difficult) As a final insult it got its stubby tail caught in the flap.

11.10pm They both went to bed having removed the Bits of UG left behind. (Fur) She gave one last spray of lily of the valley and hopefully that is the end of UG's visits.

Ugh UG

Quite right I was. Major wobbly when She smelled UG. (Must admit it is a powerful and redolent smell.) Washed all the surfaces including the table legs and sent Him out for cans of aerosol. House now reeks of lily of the valley with undertones of UG. Shall spend much time outdoors.

UG Is Very Smelly

UG (Uninvited Guest) was back again last night. Had a good close look from the top of the piano. Is a really nasty and mean animal - Torn ear and a short stubby tail. And it ate my dinner again. Left an equally nasty smell behind when it went too. I don't think She is happy with that at all:

My usual morning drink from the bathroom basin was interrupted when She went down to make a cup of coffee. Knew She would object to the smell. And how.

Uninvited Guest

There is a new cat on the block. Big black and mean. Wandered in to my kitchen last night and actually starting eating my dinner. Yelled at it but to no effect. Merely looked at me before turning back and carrying on eating. So I carried on yelling (from the other end of the kitchen) and He finally came down and sent it packing. If only I didn't have such a sore paw I could have seen it off very easily. Karate Kitty me.

Not Good

Usual morning drink with Him. (Must remember to get to the basin first or the water tastes of toothpaste.)

Daughter cooked last night but Her standards are slipping. Not steak but pasta. With vegetables. Not even a smidgen of bacon. Very poor.

They let the chickens out yesterday and forgot them. Stupid birds wrecked part of Her garden where She had just put in some new plants. I was amused. She most definitely was not. Extremely cross with Him and even more so when She saw He had trodden on her tulips when painting the back of the house.

Meat and Drink

To the bathroom with Him for my morning drink of water. Wish I could work out what the lovely flavour is. Left the usual trail of paw prints from the basin and along the bath top as I went out.

Downstairs She had already put out my breakfast. Lamb and venison at the moment, so much nicer than fish.

Daughter will be cooking tonight so can expect lots of nibbles during the process. Hope it's steak again.

What Is That Flavour?

He really has got the hang of this. Followed Him into the bathroom and said I was thirsty. Took less than a minute for Him to realise what I wanted and He turned the basin tap on to a gentle trickle. Jumped onto the bath edge and then to the basin. Front legs in, back paws hooked round the edge to prevent accidents, and oh the joy of this water. So different from what I get in my bowl in the kitchen. (Has a hint of a flavour I don't recognise. Not fish. Not milk. Not pigeon or mouse. But is very very tasty.)

And when I climbed out 5 minutes later my paws were sparkling clean too.

Thirst Quenched

Ah now. He is not as slow-thinking as I had thought. Managed to get in the bathroom as He got up (Nearly trod on me but He does have very uncontrolled slippers) and after I had sat in the basin for a while, telling Him I was thirsty, He finally got the idea and turned the cold tap on. Bit fast at first but then a gentle trickle.

Was difficult not getting wet but after I had positioned my back legs on the edge and crouched down with my front legs, could just bend my head enough so it didn't get dripped on. Front paws slipped a bit but if I hung on with my back claws it corrected the problem. Boy, did that cold water taste good. Must be because it comes from a different place being upstairs. Not a bit like the water in my bowl.

Getting out was tricky. Basin was wet and very slippy.

Now have very clean paws too.

Water In The Bath

Got in the bath after Her shower. Not only was it lovely and warm but also plenty of drinking water in there. Drank and then slept 'til lunch. Fur smelled really good when I got out.

Have remembered the newly-cleaned drainage passage under the lane out front. Shall mosey out there in a while when it has stopped raining.

Why Not The Basin?

I do not like my water bowl. Why can I not drink out of the bathroom basin? 'Tis no fun going out to drink from the pond in all this mud.

Soggy - And Very Stupid - Birds

My bed is returned to me. Lovely and clean and warm and soft - but smelling of washing powder. Maybe it will wear off.

Chickens are a sorry sight after all this rain. They are ankle deep in mud and horribly soggy. He moved the pen twice yesterday but they still sank. So He put lots of clean straw inside the house. Stupid Bird Brains kicked it outside by scratching to see if there was anything to eat in it.

Mistake

That was a mistake. Breakfast in bed but good but She threw a massive wobbly. Must have been something to do with the feathers that, try as I might, got everywhere. Or maybe it was the red stains in my new bed. (Pigeons are so dreadfully drippy when fresh.)

Took my cherished bed off the radiator and put it in the washing machine. 'Tis still circling gently when I look through the little round window. Patted the glass but was a bit hot.

Breakfast In Bed At Last

Sorted! Breakfast in bed! Had to get it myself but you can't have everything in life.

Out at first light to find all the ice had gone and was raining nastily. Just about to go back in when spotted big pigeon lurking under a bush finishing off the remains of a fat ball. It never knew what hit it. Took it indoors and up to bed and spent a merry hour plucking it before starting breakfast.

Yummy.

Cold Comfort

Everything is still frozen. Will make comfort calls very difficult. Shall have to use His greenhouse.

Watched the koi in the pond yesterday. Funny seeing them move around under the ice. Was going to test its strength but then remembered last time.

Re Breakfast in Bed. Is still trying to come up with a solution.

Whiteness

'Tis all white. Tickles my whiskers as it falls. Makes the Freds and Fredettes stand out clear as clear. Garden is overflowing with small hungry birds all of which can see me coming a long way off. (Wonder if I look like several moving black blobs to them?)

Pretty but pretty cold too. Shall sleep in my new bed on the radiator until breakfast. If only I could work out how to get breakfast in bed.

Oops

Oops.

Met YP (Yellow Peril) in the newly cleaned passage. A very nasty encounter in a gloomy place.

Really must make a note to ask it why its parents never taught it any manners. The Language!

Yards of Passage

Those nice workmen came back yesterday. Remembered me too. I helped them all morning (Nothing much of interest came up) and when I returned after a quick lunch-time nap they'd cleared up and gone which was a shame. But they have left a wonderfully clean passage from the drain to the ditch on the other side of the road lower down. And if I go just a little further up the hill the drain starts in another ditch.

I foresee several very good games evolving.......

Still No Workmen

Still no sign of those nice workmen. Waited in the window looking out for them yesterday but they didn't arrive. In the end went out into the back garden and leered at the Freds and Fredettes. So many of them when the weather is cold.

Those rats didn't waste any time - Had started to dig under the chicken hut only a few hours after He moved it. When my paw is better I shall try to help Him by catching a few.

No Workmen But Rats Instead

Waited all yesterday for the nice workmen to return but they didn't. Shall hope they do today.

He moved our chickens onto the allotment. Lots of plump and happy rats emerged from under the hut and scattered in all directions. If only I had not hurt my paw while helping the workmen I could have caught them.

Fun

Now that was what I call Fun. Lots of noises out front so went to investigate. Several workmen all digging in the drain at the side of the road. So went to help. Was a bit crowded but got to the front and saw they were cleaning out the old drain that goes down the hill and under the road to the ditch on the other side. (About time too as every time it rains the road floods.)

Very messy procedure what with wet leaves, twigs and a dead rat (Too far gone to interest me unfortunately - Comes from having aristocratic family connections) all being dragged out, but the men seemed glad to see me. And asked me to help by searching through the rubbish they got out in case there was anything valuable in it.

Spent several hours assisting and then they packed up and took it with them. Think they'll be back though because they left a big sign saying Roadworks.

Hit With an Apple

Found some really pretty little yellow flowers in the big urn in the back garden. Very comfortable and gave a good view of the bird table. She threw an apple at me and shouted. Think She must be feeling unwell. Otherwise there is no explaining Her behaviour. (Rejected yesterday's gift too.)

No Understanding Them At All

No understanding Them at all. Presented Her with a long cherished mouse and She booted me out of the kitchen. Put it back in the compost heap for later.