Birds

Chickens seem perfectly happy after finishing off the Chinese meal. Obviously do not have highly bred and delicate constitutions like Myself.

TB came out to see the crow with me and took an instant dislike to it. Raised its hackles and snarled terrifyingly. Crow exited hurriedly. (Had no idea TB could act so mean. And the crow is almost as big as it is.)

Another brood of baby blackbirds has hit the ground running - Well almost. The nest is in the highly prickly juniper bush by the pond and all 3 of them fell into the water on their maiden flight. He raced into the garden (Moved faster than He has in years) and scooped them out with the fish net and put them on the garden table with a few meal worms for company. (Taste very nasty but birds don't seem to have much sense of what's good.) Then She shut me in the conservatory for the afternoon which was rather unfair.

Stomach Aches and Mysteries

Yup. Everybody ate much too much Chinese. They were both grumpy and Myself lost some of my usual good humour and suavity. He gave the remnants to the chickens. (Must make Mental Note to go see how they are doing later today.) She blamed someone else for the sauce on the carpet. Luckily.

Crow came back at dawn. Wish it would stop laughing so horribly at its own silly jokes. Happened to be out at the time and saw it attack some of the fruit bushes. Threw the berries around when it found they weren't ripe. So that mystery is solved. (Did it get stomach ache last time it ate some I wonder? Think that question is destined forever to remain a mystery.)

Sodden Birds and a Chinese

Has done nothing but rain. Makes Myself very stiff. Spent most of yesterday in the warm conservatory watching all the wet birds. The baby blackbirds are completely sodden and having great difficulty flying. Landing on the other hand is easy and occurs with much regularity when they least expect it.

The family ended their day by buying a monumental Chinese meal for Her. As always, far too much to eat in one go so I helped out when I found the fridge door was not quite closed. Hopefully She will not notice the red sauce on the red carpet. (Pushed the slice of lemon under the unit.) Prawns brilliant once I had removed some of the rice, chicken very tasty, noodles not bad but rather slippery. Think I ate too much all at once though.

Wonderful Wellies

The Entire Family took Her out yesterday. When They came back She was wearing the best pair of welly boots I have ever seen. And a great big smile. So She must be feeling better. (Checked for wrinkles but no more than usual. So why did She refer to being Wrinkled? Invisible?)

But something has happened to the fruit bushes on the allotment. Some of them look like they have been sat on. Broken twigs and un-ripe fruit all over the place. He is not happy and very puzzled.

Not Caw Caw But Haw Ha Ha

Not sure why but She is in a foul mood. Is muttering about being wrinkled and invisible. Had lots of cards in the post but seemed to make it worse. Both daughters are coming for the day so maybe She will cheer up. Certainly hope so.

Up early this morning looking for the baby blackbirds. Would so like to get to know them, but no luck. Did come across a crow though. A gigantic bird and this one had the most manic laughter I have ever heard. Sounded as if it was laughing at its own naughty jokes.

Yellow Lips and A Bad-Tempered Mum

TB continues to be intrigued about all the bits of fur floating around My garden. CM is hobbling and YP is pretending nothing happened.

Went to get to know the 4 baby blackbirds all lined up on a branch of the quince tree. They smiled at me with their droopy yellow mouths but Mother told me to buzz off in no uncertain terms. Shall wait until it is otherwise engaged before trying again.

Fur But Few Feathers

Hhmm. YP looked really sorely after yesterday's fight. But that was nothing to CM - Limping. Tufts of hair removed. (Its skin is actually rather a pretty shade of grey. Very interesting.) Also part of an ear is missing. Thank goodness I didn't let Myself be drawn into the combat. Would have resulted in even more serious damage to YP & CM.)

TB - a beagle of infinite discrimination but somewhat short in the brain cell department - is fascinated by all the pieces of black and yellow fur currently blowing around my garden. Spent ages watching one particular clump and then sniffed it too vigorously. Never knew a beagle could sneeze so loudly.

The latest crop of baby blackbirds has just hit the ground running. (No tail feathers yet so flying is ok but landing rather an undignified process.) Four of them must have been horribly squashed in that little nest. Shall to go make their acquaintance later today.

Fight!

YP & CM have had the most enormous battle. Early this morning. (Have spent hours around the end of MY garden snarling and swearing at each other for days. Made going out rather tricky as I was bound to encounter one or other of them. And Karate Kitty Me hesitates to start anything as I know it will result in awful damage to the opponent.) The sounds of the fight were terrible. All the neighbours got out of bed to see what was happening.

We found a ball of yellow and black fur rolling around OUR lawn, screeching, spitting and occasionally chewing. Nasty. Very nasty indeed. Carried on for a long time until He threw a bucket of water at them.

CM disappeared up the hill. YP hid under the garden table. We pulled it out. Dear, dear. Distinctly chewed. Who would have thought old CM could have done that amount of damage to it. (Wonder how CM looks and feels?)

Where Did Sunday Go?

Ah now. Not entirely sure where Sunday went. Seems to be Monday afternoon. Awoke a little while back to find it raining. And what was I doing out on the compost heap amidst piles of kiwi trimmings? Am extremely stiff, have a nasty headache, feel damp all over and very hungry.

Trimmings

Summer has arrived. They trimmed the kiwi vine at the back of the house. It has grown about 4 feet already this year and was pulling the gutter off again. So He ascended a ladder and She kept watch at the bottom and complained every time She was hit by falling branches. (So why stand there?) Better than last year though - Then She was hit by falling gutter. Cast iron.

I foresee hours and days of glorious tranquility as I sleep on the trimmings and dream.

Manky and Audacious

Don't think I shall be going out today. Fur is looking somewhat tufted and manky where I landed in the berberis yesterday. YP actually had the audacity to stroll right up to the conservatory where I was snoozing and peer through the window at me in the afternoon. If the door hadn't been almost closed I would have been out there giving it What For. As it was I could only spit with great authority. And then He finished the process of removal by clapping loudly. Unnecessary but I am always glad for Him when He notices and joins in.

Stakes And Prickles

TB is firmly staked again. Don't think it minds much - or even realises very often. Seems perfectly happy as is often taken out (on a very classy lead) and gets lots of encouragement from all the neighbours. Who are obviously extremely glad it can't get into their gardens and wreck them any more.

Ally & Pally recovered from yesterday's upheaval and are happily murmuring to themselves again this morning.

The forthcoming war between YP and CM is Getting-All-Too-Much. Last night went out to view my plot and even though I couldn't see them, thought it prudent to take the longer route via the top of the fence. (Karate Kitty me, but prefer not to waste my talents on those who do not appreciate them.) Reached the final panel and there it was. YP. Perched on top of my fence post. Looking mean and unfriendly and with a very nasty look in its little yellow eyes. Gave me a horrid shock. If the fence hadn't been so slippery I wouldn't have fallen into the berberis. Very prickly. Destroyed my dignity and left tufts of white fur hanging from its thorns. AND I had to walk past YP & CM having fallen into the neighbouring garden. They were disgustingly smirky.

Lack Of Friendships

Feel like Kitty-in-the-Middle. CM & YP sit and glare at each other from either side of my garden. Makes going out problematic. Shall have to move them on if this continues.

TB managed to wrench its stake from out the ground and galloped off to make friends with Ally and Pally. Think it was rather too exuberant for the poor things. Squawks and feathers everywhere. Think TB was a bit taken aback.

Poor Show

A fascinating meeting at the end of my garden: CM and YP. Can't think why they hadn't come across each other before. YP spat, snarled and screamed. And stood its ground. CM muttered under its breath. And also stood its ground. TB and I sat down to watch the show.

Rather boring it was. Both tails fluffed up. They each made a half circle round the other. And then stood still again. CM sat down. So did YP. Nothing else happened in half an hour. Might have gone on longer had the blackbird not had enough and flew low and cluttered at them. Both went their separate ways, rear views radiating hatred.

Rope, Net and a Robin

TB is tethered by a long and very strong rope. Not altogether delighted about it but quite enjoys seeing how far it can stretch things.

All 4 of Them spent several hours replacing the excavations in the grass and have re-seeded the entire area. I offered my help but was refused so sat at a distance with TB and watched. So did the robin which has a nest nearby. They noticed the robin too and have put netting over all the bare patches. (Catches in my claws which is rather unpleasant.)

She has put the wiggly remains of the Kitchen Goo in the pond. Incomprehensible.

War?

TB is well into the swing of excavating again. Unfortunately this time is it our allotment rather than its own back garden. It is a beagle of surprising intelligence apart from this one serious blind spot - Cannot be made to see that it Must Not Do It. We have all spoken severely but all it does is sit down and smile engagingly. If this continues it will take more than a couple of bottles of wine to smooth things over. Place looks like a war zone this morning. Admittedly no visible little mounds of earth - They have been spread far and wide among the giant holes........

A Crater

Ah now. I forsee a Problem ahead. TB is highly unpopular this morning due to the havoc it wreaked on the allotment when another of those mounds of earth appeared. By the time TB had finished it was more a large crater than a small pile of earth. And when He saw it He was more un-amused than I have seen Him for a very long time. Could have been worse though - TB might have dug up the onions rather than a patch among the fruit bushes. He and She spent half an hour filling in the hole with the help of neighbours. Then They all went next door and had a couple of bottles of wine.

A Brain Explosion And Continuing Mystery

Out on allotment yesterday with TB, watching to see what sort of creature is making those earth mounds when TB suddenly must have experienced a brain explosion. Half stood up and wuffed very loudly, tail banging away like mad. And as it did a new pile of earth started appearing. TB was completely stiff with its nose almost resting on the growing mound and then all its legs started running all over the place all at once. Hit the pile of earth and sent it flying everywhere. Dust, clods, stones, all pinging through the air. TB dug and dug til its head was completely out of sight. And then stopped. Looked up with a satisfied grin and wandered home.

I investigated and found a crater with absolutely no sign of any sort of creature in it. The mystery remains. (Bet He's cross when He sees the disaster area.)

Amazing. Twice Over

All Her Goo in the kitchen has grown legs. Truly amazing.

There is a newcomer on the allotment. Makes little mounds of earth all over the place. Also amazing. Have no idea what is doing it as there is no trace of any animal. Just these mounds. TB is fascinated by them and spends hours sniffing and looking. Some have appeared in His grass round the fruit bushes. Don't think He is too pleased. Was definitely muttery about it when He went to mow it yesterday.

Disturbed Caller, Birds and Night

Bad bad night. Some extremely silly lady rang up 5 times about a delayed plane. First time was around midnight. Finally He got up and answered it. Told the caller this wasn't the number for flight enquiries. Not very politely. Then the chickens kicked up a big fuss with a Fred. (Knew it wasn't a good idea to move their pen to where the Freds and Fredettes walk in and out of the bushes.) Then the cuckoo started.

Shall go see what's for breakfast and then back to bed.

Case and A Cuckoo

Joy. Daughter came back late last night. Helped Her carry Her case in. Led the way upstairs and had to keep stopping so She could catch up. Must have been an extraordinarily heavy case as She nearly dropped it twice.

We all slept late this morning. Apart from a cuckoo which had just arrived back. Shouted and shouted it did. How any other cuckoo finds that song attractive is beyond me.

Landed On. Twice

Still no Daughter but I expect Her return imminently - The room was vaccuumed and She put flowers in it.

Have given up on the DB's (Dust Baths) for a while. The ash isn't as good as it was before the chickens and Fredettes started using it all the time. And it is No Fun being surprised by a mad speckly chicken which has just pounded across the grass to be the first in the dint, only to land on top of Yours Truly.

For the second time. Said chicken's sister has developed a taste for Her spring bulbs which have just been put around the horse chestnut tree to naturalise. It started scratching them up for the umpteenth time and He threw a big lump of dry earth at it. Got it broadside and the earth sort of exploded into a million dusty bits. Chicken went straight up with a loud squawk. Others copied, and the big black one landed on top of where I was snoozing by a black currant bush.

Ouch. Spent the afternoon on Daughter's duvet recovering my self-composure and dignity.

TB Yes, Daughter No

TB is back, more or less rejuvenated. And a great deal slimmer again. It was so charmingly glad to see Me. All wuff and wiggle. A beagle of enormous discrimination. Recognises kitty breeding, which is most unusual in a dog.

Daughter is gone again. Was driven to the airport last night. Very pleased She came back just to see Me, but She could have stayed a while longer. Was preparing such a lovely little present for Her. 'Spose it will keep ok if I put it in the old compost heap. (Must remember to place it out of reach of chickens and Fredettes who still have daily DB's in the ash.)

TB No, Daughter Yes

TB has gone to the vet. Was not happy with the idea and howled. Loud and long. Could hear it in the car getting fainter and fainter. Hope it returns soon.

In the meantime Daughter is home and I passed a wonderful night on Her pillow. From time to time had to remind Myself She really was there by poddling on Her shoulder. She is so kind. Every time I did She woke up and stroked me.

Joy and a Swelling

Poor TB. Has a stomach all swelled up. No doubt due to the entire pot of fish pellets it ate. Is in acute discomfort - Went round to talk but it simply didn't want to know. (Don't wish to be unkind but TB looks like a sausage with a leg at what ought to be each corner.)

Daughter returned this evening. And not a moment too soon. Have missed her horribly. They all had steak for dinner. 'Tis one of her favourites. And mine. Sat beneath her chair and every so often a juicy morsel fell my way. Oh joy unlimited.

Am in fact rather troubled about TB. Hope it soon returns to normal.

......Must Come Out

Ah now. That snack to settle my stomach was not a good idea. Found an old mouse in the compost heap.

Felt extremely unwell a while later whilst snoozing on her duvet. She was not amused. Changed the sheets muttering all the while under her breath.

TB is also out of sorts. Shall go ask why later on today though think it might have something to do with eating a large jar of fish pellets for Her koi. (He had left it by the side of our pond last night.)

What Goes Into Stomachs......

Still a trifle out of sorts. Shall go look for a snack by the old compost heap. That might settle it all down a bit.

Chickens escaped yesterday. (His story. Personally I think He forgot to put them away. But there you go.) They wreaked total havoc in His onion bed. What is it about chickens and onions? They don't like eating them, just dig them up and scratch around. Needless to say He is somewhat miffed.

She tried a new recipe which was an utter disaster. Then offered it to Me. What cheek. Naturally I turned it down without so much as a sniff. (Didn't taste good at all actually. Wet, chewy and with a funny after-taste.) So She emptied into the chicken pen.