Troubled

Have never before seen OLAHF in unfriendly mood. 'Tis troubling. Its nose and head must be more sore than at first supposed. Is even now sitting hunched up on My patio, unmoving and with a warning glint in its eye. Even TB couldn't get a response. Shall have to watch carefully to ensure things do Not Get Worse.

The Result Was Inevitable

OLAHF is feeling rather sorry for itself. Obviously has a bad headache - and a sore nose where it forgot that turning at speed requires care and forethought. Don't think the garden table is damaged.

The wrens were not a figment of My imagination after all. (Thankfully.) Fluttered back yesterday to the patio moving so fast they were but tiny little brown blurs. If Myself hadn't been already hard at work I might have had the opportunity to catch one.

Mightily Affected

OLAHF found the kiwi leaves on His compost heap. Heavens! Is mightily affected and galloping all over the place. Over the grass, the plants, and through the blackcurrant bushes. Its fur is now scrumpled and full of twigs and bits and pieces. TWWLUTR will have to spend hours brushing them out. If she can make OLAHF stay still long enough.

Did Myself dream the wrens yesterday?

Bubbles?

Yesterday afternoon He swept up all the fallen kiwi leaves from the patio. The scent was heavenly. So nice in fact that Myself decided to sit there a while. Was snoozing in the gentle sunlight when suddenly became aware that there were lots of fluffy brown bubbles everywhere. Was it dream induced by the kiwi aroma?

Nope. Many many wrens had arrived to feast on what had been hidden by leaves. Pinging all over the place they were. Much too fast to even see properly, let alone catch so Myself went back to sleep.

Correct and Exhausted

Right as usual - He was very cross when He saw what the rats have done to the Wash-house. She is very cross too because the rubble and dust is full of lime and He has already walked over Her carpet with mucky shoes. (He'd better be careful: That's the carpet with the burn hole and it will only take one more small thing and He will have to buy Her another one.)

OLAHF caught a bunny yesterday. Saw Myself and stopped playing with it to greet Me and then couldn't find the bunny. It had made a very hasty exit. So we both went to find some rats instead. Lots of exciting holes on the allotment. TB came too. Exhilarating but frightfully exhausting watching the pair of them.

Oops

Had a lovely restful day as They were both out again. TB called round and tried my door flap yet again - Is not overly endowed with intelligence and memory: Tries to get through it every time and every time is surprised it's still too small. (Is TB expecting it to grow?)

Bit of a crash out front this afternoon. Part of the wall of the Wash-house fell down. Looked like rats have been burrowing. Don't think He will be too pleased when He finds it. Rubble all over the place. And in the chicken food, so they won't be pleased either.

Moaning

Ally & Pally are moaning and so is Daughter:

A & P want out of their pen to roam which is now forbidden due to the buzzard and Daughter is moaning after having drunk rather a lot of mulled wine. Was imbibed during the day to alleviate a sore throat but said sore throat appears to have migrated to her head.

Added to which She is moaning because She had to get up disgustingly early to take Him to an antiques fair. (And He has just told Her how much money They made which stopped the moaning immediately.)

Methinks

After yesterday's buzzard Ally & Pally's people have decided not to let them roam. Sensible decision Methinks. A & P are not happy though and have take to moaning again.

Local paper got to hear about the buzzard (TWWLUTR trying to achieve fame?) and sent someone to take photos. Rather late for that Methinks. But he was conducted on a tour of her front and back gardens nonetheless, and made to take pictures of the holes dug by the squirrels. TB came out to help and smiled genially at the bemused visitor and OLAHF completed his discomfiture by tripping him up.

Quite an Experience. Particularly For One Squirrel

Such excitement - The young buzzard which hatched in one of the very tall trees across the field caught a squirrel in TWWLUTR's back garden. Landed rather heavily on top of the by now deceased squirrel and spread its wings over the corpse. A Positively Enormous Bird and very Beautiful in its own way. (Myself was quite glad to be studying it from a distance.)

Seemed not altogether sure what to do next because it squatted there for an age, turing its head from side to side as though checking whether we were going to try to wrest the squirrel from it. As if. (And we thought the MOF had evil eyes. These were many times worse and as for its beak....)

Had a few half-hearted attempts to eat it and then finally took off with it dangling from one foot.

Wow. Some experience.

Forseeing the Future

Myself foresees a Coming-Together of TB and the Mean Old Fred. Passed what must have been several uncomfortable hours in the garden experiencing a Total Face Off. (Very nasty eyes that MOF has. And the red bits are simply horrible. Big spurs on its legs too.)

OLAHF eventually surfaced late afternoon. Has spent a very long time attempting to clean its fur. My fur on the other hand looks sparkling, especially when I remember to sit slightly sideways so that the scorched bit doesn't show.

Just Bits

OLAHF returned late last night - exhausted and with innumerable bits of leaf and twig in its somewhat matted fur. Where is had been is anyone's guess but it was asleep almost before it had had 3 mouthfuls of food.

My scorched fur is beginning to sprout. Luckily it didn't show too much after He trimmed the edges so have been able to show Myself in public. The carpet however still has a large hole and She is showing signs of Utmost Dissatisfaction.

This morning there is only the mean old Fred in the garden. And TB. They keep eyeing each other with distrust but nothing much has happened. Yet.

Wild

What is it about wet and windy weather that makes OLAHF go wild? Has been charging all over the place - Garden, roof, lane, out by the chicken pen........ It looks like a dervish with much too much grey hair. TWWLUTR lobbed a potato she was peeling at it (and missed) and He threw a lump of earth out of the greenhouse (and scored a direct hit) whereupon OLAHF raced out to terrorise the chickens. They are still peeved because they don't have many new feathers yet and couldn't even be bothered to look.

OLAHF was last seen chasing a couple of Fredettes. They took off but it didn't notice and kept going.

Uninterested & Impervious

Quite right. She is most annoyed at the dark brown hole the hot coal made in Her carpet. Doesn't much like the smell either. He, being uninterested in things like carpets, has been very sympathetic about the scorch mark on my back and has trimmed the burnt bits slightly so they don't show as much. Offered to trim Her carpet but was refused. (Wonder if He will continue being uninterested in carpets when She announces She wants a new one in time for Christmas?)

TB & OLAHF would appear to be gradually ridding the garden of F's & F'ettes. This morning only 7 Fredettes were around and they were very very nervous and jumpy. The mean old Fred which trod on OLAHF is still here though - and utterly impervious to any stalking or chasing. Seems to consider it owns My garden.

Much Too Cold and Much Too Hot

'Tis cold, very cold. The birds in the garden are fluffed up and hunched in the trees or fluffed up and hunched on the ground. Shall not be going out to day.

For another reason as well - They lit a fire last night and when They went to bed left the kitchen door open so Myself could continue to benefit from the warmth. (So kind. Must remember to bring home a small present.) Was lovely until about 3am when the fire had died down and then it was distinctly chilly even though I had nested in Her dark brown coat on a chair. Thought I would go lie on the hearth. Bad idea. Had just settled down when a hot coal jumped out and landed on My back. Didn't know at first, then a funny smell, then a burning sensation.

My tongue is extremely sore from removing the coal and She will not be pleased when She finds it was still very hot when it fell onto the carpet.

Not Fun

The F & F game didn't go too well yesterday. OLAHF & TB ganged up - One lurking and the other chasing - but one big old Fred wouldn't play. Side-stepped the charging TB and trod on OLAHF hiding in the flower bed. Not a pleasant sound. OLAHF hit its head on the green house and was not amused. Went and sulked up the quince tree where it was later discovered by a pigeon which made rather a mess on its fluffy fur.

Fun

OLAHF & TB are making life quite difficult for all the Freds and Fredettes. If it's not the hairy one chasing them and t'other lurking, it's the other way round. Mind you, TB nearly got Him this morning when He went out to feed the chickens. Braked hard just in time. The frosty grass is annotated with dozens of paw prints, several scuffle marks and a fair quantity of feathers. Looks like fun if a trifle energetic. Shame Myself is having to work today or I could have joined in.

F's

TB has moved its allegiance from Bunnies to F's & F'ettes. Chases those instead. (Think it saw what happened to OLAHF yesterday.) The F's make so much more noise and flap than furry little balls which merely scatter. (Apart from yesterday's.) Watched TB trying to leap in the air as one F took off. Nearly got it too - Landed rather heavily but with a satisfied smirk and a long tail feather in its mouth.

Mainly Bunnies

The F's and F'ettes are making so much mess in the garden that She is beginning to mutter. But thankfully the Bunnies haven't encroached into His veggies.

We were nearly 1 Bunny the fewer yesterday however - OLAHF had been chasing them around for a bit and then tripped over a small one which had decided that lying flat was safer than running about in a panic. (Either highly intelligent or incredibly stupid.) Both leapt up in the air and landed nose to nose. Don't know which was the more surprised.

Improving

Took TB out to view the chickens in the hope that it would cheer it up. Didn't. But YP had ventured the wrong side of its garden fence. Went back rather fast when it saw TB hurtling towards it. Rather a thump as TB hit the gate but the other end was still wagging.

Haven't seen CM for a while. Or any frogs. But far too many Freds and Fredettes are around. And they make an indescribable mess. Most Unpleasant walking on the grass.

Remorse and a Nasty Sight

A Remorseful Beagle is a droopy sight. It is now trying to think of a way to put things right with SOF. Can't see the point of that Myself - She doesn't realise TB had anything to do with the chaos and what she doesn't know won't hurt her. OLAHF wandered around also looking miserable. Came across YP (Yellow Peril) from next door and didn't even bother to reply when it was spat at. (Now if SOF wanted to blame something, Myself considers that YP would be an ideal candidate. Vulgar, rude, bolshy and with nasty little yellow eyes.)

7 Fredettes and 3 Freds this morning. They are eating up everything He puts out. Does this indicate a bad winter to come? Or are they merely extremely greedy?

Paused in My work to visit the chickens yesterday. Mistake. Not a Nice Sight. All scrawny and moulting. Feathers all over the place and bald patches where they were. (Have you ever seen a bald chicken's head and neck? And I shall draw a delicate veil over the view of the rear.)

Saddened

SOF came around to see Them last night. Is distressed. So much so that Myself is rather glad I didn't add to the chaos in My Desire For Revenge. They were very kind to her and opened a bottle of wine which she drank. And then a second one. Was supported back up the lane some time later. He has offered to trim the tree out front to stop the Kamikaze Squirrels leaping onto her roof, and to fill in the hole in her back fence and put up some of the rabbit wire he has left over. (Drew the line at washing her car.)

OLAHF is sadly in disgrace as she seems to think it should have done more to scare away the KI's and Bunnies. (If she only knew.....)

SOF is Returned

Wonderful theatre yesterday! SOF is returned! And how......

Taxi disgorged her out front and was treated to a diatribe about the pigeon mess on her car. Poor guy couldn't get away fast enough. (Nearly put the vicar in the ditch when he reversed rather too fast while turning the cab around.)

Front door banged hard and there was quiet for a while. And then.....

She saw the back garden.

If it weren't for the Drenching With Cold Water some days ago, Myself would almost feel sorry for her. The Kamikaze Squirrels have dug all over the lawn. (Same lawn that she had relayed to rid it of 3 daisy plants last year.) And somehow, not totally sure how but TB looks terribly satisfied, a large hole has appeared in the back hedge and there are Bunnie droppings everywhere in the garden. And not a great deal left of parts of her flower borders. Myself had been wondering what TB was up to after noticed it sitting by the back fence for several hours from early morning onwards yesterday.

Life is Good.

Awaiting the Return of SOF

SOF is returning unto Us this afternoon.

To date the KI's have dug several small and rather messy holes in her back lawn; the bunnies have started on the bottom of her hedge and have also dug several small and rather messy holes; the pigeons have left a glorious mess on her car; and We have been utterly unable to come up with any workable idea as to how to take revenge for Myself having been drenched with cold water.

Only 8 Fredettes this morning.

Considering SOF

One of the KI's missed the tree and landed somewhat heavily on SOF's lawn. Oops. But just as Myself was about to investigate it woke up again. Couldn't find the nut it had been carrying though.

Allotment is surrounded by rabbit wire. Must have cost Him a tidy sum. Bunnies turned left and started on the stuff up by SOF's back gate.

Wonder how Myself, TB and OLAHF could use the bunnies to our advantage? The squirrels are making some mess but 'tis not enough and she returns tomorrow.

B F & K

Ever closer come the Bunnies.......

The 11 Fredettes are back every morning. He has started putting out more bird food and has That look on His face. Probably means He is thinking about roast pheasant.

KI's having a wonderful time on SOF's back lawn. Had been wondering why she hadn't fussed about it but learned she is away for a couple of days. Do they need any assistance I wonder.......

KI's and Pale Tails

The KI's (Kamikaze Idiots aka the squirrels) started at 5.30 this morning. Throwing themselves from a tree onto SOF's roof and thence into another tree and down to her back lawn. Quite a few untidy little holes in it by now. She won't be pleased...... If she hadn't put wire netting around her back fence Myself could get in and chase them but can't be bothered to climb it.

TB discovered the bunnies and scattered them last night. Was just before dark and all Myself could see was lots of little pale tails bobbing into the hedges. Lots of noise from TB though. Bunnies came back later and polished off some more cabbages and things.

Seige Conditions

Heavens above! Never mind SOFWLUTR being under seige - So are We:

Bunnies continue their inexorable march towards Our veggies. He is talking about getting wire netting. At the rate they are eating things He needs to go buy it or t'will be too late.

Early this morning We were inundated with Fredettes. Counted 11 of them in My garden, all pecking for seed and grubbing around in the lawn. (Is always amazed at How Much Mess is generated by a couple of those birds, never mind 11.)

Several noisy squabbles broke out after the blackbirds decided the red berries were ripe. One had more sense though - Waited underneath on the ground for the berries to get knocked off. Ended up peacefully eating twice as many as anyone else.

And the squirrels have given up waiting for the netting to lift in SOF's front garden and have migrated to the back. Can't be any too pleasant for her as they hurl themselves from the tree in the lane opposite and land on her roof. Usually have to scrabble desperately to get a footing and reach the top. Then they run a little way along it and hurl themselves into one of her apple trees. Kamikaze idiots.

Furry Hairy Things

Bunnies are munching their way rather too close to My garden. (Don't want to share it with a dozen ditsy furry things.) But they have made Such a Mess of one of the allotments way up the other end. Cabbages gone, Lettuces under the cloches ravaged, and all that sort of thing. He is getting Very Worried.

OLAHF nearly gave CM a heart attack. (Is too old and stiff these days to get out and spends its entire time in SOFWLUTR's over-the-top conservatory.) OLAHF was wandering around her garden trying to find the solution to Our problem of how to get revenge on SOF and appeared at one of the windows just as CM was standing up in order to turn around for a more comfy spot on its cushion. Went up in the air with its fur all on end and fell over the back of the sofa. (Know OLAHF is rather large and exceptionally hairy but t'was a somewhat exaggerated response.)

Nope

Absolutely no ideas whatsoever. Kiwi vine didn't help either (though it smelled heavenly.)

Wondered about going fishing in her big pond but then remembered the last time.............. And anyway I don't think she ever replaced the koi.

Meanwhile He is complaining about the number of hungry bunnies that have suddenly appeared.

Only One Small Idea And That Was By Accident

The pigeons have (for once) been totally helpful. Have started roosting in the tree above where SOFWLUTR's car is parked at night. A really nice gooey mess on the windscreen this morning.

Meanwhile the squirrels have not given up hoping for a small gap to appear in the netting. (She could at least have asked the workmen to use green netting instead of the brown which looks most inartistic and lowers the tone of the neighbourhood.)

OLAHF came up with idea that it could race along her roof rather than Mine but couldn't get up there which was a shame. TB wanted to howl very early each morning until Myself pointed out that it would awaken everybody else too. So that idea was also rejected. Shall go nest (for a short while only to avoid a headache) in the fallen kiwi leaves and cogitate.