War

War is declared! TWWLUTR has struck again. She and Us are both opening our gardens in the village show tomorrow and TWWLUTR has done nothing but copy Our ideas for the last couple of weeks. Few days ago it was a palm tree. Then hanging baskets in the same colours as Ours that we planted up Ourselves in March. Yesterday She tool delivery of a banana plant for the conservatory - Larger than Ours naturally - and 12 enormous koi carp for the new pond. More money than sense. But what can you expect from someone who feeds the cat (Cowardly Mog it's called. Tells you all you need to know) steak and salmon in an over-large conservatory................

Popped round to see TB last night. Still chomping happily on its big bone it got from TWWLUTR as a reward for saving NLF.

Can't understand TWWLUTR at all.

Rescue

NLF explored My garden yesterday. It really is becoming most adventurous for such a tiny grey ball of fluff with a tail that sticks straight up in the air. Tail wasn't sticking straight up when it left though. Was dangling, soggy and with bits of pond weed hanging from it.

Went too close to the edge of the pond and toppled in. Lots of mew and splash and struggling to climb out. Stones were slippy and it was having great trouble getting a paw-hold.

TB to the rescue - Grabbed it by the neck and pulled it out. TWWLUTR came running and scooped it up off the grass. Sad sight. Little mouth open and crying. Was taken back home to dry out and recover.

TB got an enormous bone from them. Let me have a couple of licks. Such a kind animal.

Trees

Ooops. TB thought the palm tree was especially planted just for him. So went and piddled on its base. Big mistake. She hurled the watering can. Missed TB but hit the palm tree. Dented both can and tree.

Must say Our garden is looking lovely. He swept the paths and patio yesterday and I heard Her talking about washing the tables and chairs. That won't please the robin. It sits on the backs of the chairs and sings. He feeds it every morning. At least, it feeds itself - Gets down in the pot of seed the second He turns around to reach for the hanging feeder. One of these days it's going to end up in that feeder, hanging from a branch of the quince......

NLF and a Palm Tree

TB is entranced by CM's NLF (New Little Friend). Spends hours lying down and peeking at it. It didn't run away when it saw TB this morning - but disappeared in a flash when a gentle wuff emanated from behind the fence. (Can't get over how its tiny grey tail sticks straight up in the air. Mine lays elegantly behind me or waves gently or twitches on occasions. Maybe I should organise tutoring for it when it's a bit older.)

TWWLUTR excelled all Her previous efforts yesterday. A big truck arrived with a palm tree which several men hoisted into Her back garden. Went up to help but had second thoughts when a small mechanical digger arrived too. Sat on one end of the fence with CM at the other end and watched proceedings. The men were not pleased when She changed Her mind and wanted it in a different place. It stayed where it was. After much discussion.

Cheat! Sweet

TWWLUTR has entered Her garden into the village Open Gardens Day as well. Seems like a bit of a cheat to Myself. Never does much Herself, pays someone to do all the hard work and goes out and buys plants in pots to make it look good. (At least that explains what She was up to in the rain yesterday.)

The New Little Friend with CM is rather sweet. Made its acquaintance and was rewarded with a tiny miaou. Doesn't like the wet grass though - Kept lifting and shaking its baby grey paws.

TB is upset. It ran away and hid when it saw it looking through the fence.

Peace At Last

No sign of YP last night. That meant that not only did I have a peaceful night's rest - Apart from a couple of short forays into the garden - But also there was something left in My bowl for breakfast.

She spent ages phoning workmen yesterday to come clean Her sooty living room carpet and various chairs He had sat in. Not to mention my paw prints. Was aghast at the cost. Also rang the chimney sweep.

Black

This morning She is in a terrible mood. Last night's heavy rain must have loosened the soot in the living room chimney. The pretty (new) green carpet is covered with sticky black pieces. Unfortunately so were my paws after I went to look. But managed to get most of it off and it didn't show much on the music room chair. Shame He had to sit on it though before going to have breakfast in the conservatory................................

Living Dangerously

Ha. YP got its come-uppance. Was so tired of having it rattle My cat flap each night that I sat and waited. Hid to one side of the kitchen unit. Sure enough, rattle rattle in the early hours. But this time I didn't let on I was there. Waited. More rattles. More waiting. More rattles. And then I heard the tiny squeak the flap makes as it starts to open. A grubby yellow paw had insinuated itself into My kitchen. Followed by a good portion of a nasty yellow leg. So I leapt. Embedded My teeth in the leg and hung on. YP went mental the other side of the door but I had positioned Myself cleverly and it couldn't pull me through the cat flap. Finally had to let go when I hit the washing machine rather painfully.

Tasted horrid.

Interesting. Brilliant. Dangerous

TWWLUTR pulled up all the remnants of Her precious grasses. Big holes in her garden now. Shall go dig in a few and see what I can find. Or put in there.

Daughter is returned to Us. Yo. Some of the best steak ever for dinner last night. They must all be very happy. Everybody gave me bits.

YP snoops around my cat flap each night. Rattles it with a paw to discover if I am in. Not a good idea. I shall wait until it pokes it through and Attack.

Flap and Bubble

The coloured flappy things in TWWLUTR's garden didn't work. More mess this morning. She looked like a big coloured flappy thing Herself when She saw.

The amount of work both of Them are doing to the garden is frightening. To the frogs. Most of them have moved out of the long border (to avoid being trodden on by Her Wonderful Wellies) and back to the pond. When I walk to the edge for a drink it sort of bubbles as all the tadpoles, froglets and frogs get out of the way.

We Shall See

TWWLUTR's garden now sports several flappy and highly covered objects hanging from bushes. Apparently it is to ward off the Magpies. We shall see.

Last night She spent ages fiddling around in the garden. Has entered it in the village 'Open Garden' day. That also shall we see.

Daughter is about to return. Bother. That means She will change my duvet on Daughter's bed again. Also means (with luck) succulent steak for dinner. Hopefully it will be more than just we shall see........

Neither Got Eaten

Managed to get into the pot of fish flakes and tried to eat some to see if I turn orange like the baby fishes. But they were tickly and made me sneeze. Licked up a few of them but not very nice so drank some of the water in the tank to get rid of the taste.

Apparently TWWLUTR (That-Women-Who-Lives-Up-The-Road) laid in watch for the wreckers of her precious grasses. Those magpies. Pulled out strand after strand and spat them on the ground. Wonder why?

Grasses and Orange Fishes

TWWLUTR is apoplectic. Her much-loved ornamental grasses are a Total Mess this morning. Bits pulled out and strewn everywhere. Oh dear.

Daughter caught 2 brownish-purple baby fishes from the pond and put them in the kitchen tank before She went. Very odd - They are gradually going orange. Wonder why. (Is it the fish flakes they eat? I shall have to try.)

Nothing Getting Eaten

Bother. Daughter's duvet has been changed by Her. Clean one in place last night. Now I shall have to make another ring of white fur and other bits on the clean one. Though with luck the one currently in the wash will leave white fur all over Her underwear.

Great excitement yesterday when He found a gigantic moth. Had never seen one anything like as big - About the size of her hand and with delicate pink and grey shading on its wings. Had a close inspection but looked rather too furry to be worth playing with. And besides it wiggled its front legs at me in a very intimidating fashion. Went to keep watch on TWWLUTR's precious grasses instead. Nothing there except those wretched magpies again.

Frogs still pootling about Her ferns but they are no good for playing with either as they just go hide in the impenetrable undergrowth. Maybe if I lie there for a while one will come say Hi.

Frogs and Magpies

Yup. Ferns were full of frogs of all sizes and colours. Pinged everywhere when I had a good dig around. Chased a couple but Her plants are too thick to have any real fun so cleared a space in the aquilegias and snoozed for a while.

In the afternoon meandered up to TWWLUTR's garden to keep a watch on the precious grasses. (Something chomped them a couple of days back and I got blamed. Unjustly on this occasion.) Settled in a good place but 2 magpies saw me and shouted. Loudly. So went back home to Daughter's duvet which now has a most satisfying ring of hair and other bits where I have been lying.

Paths

Since the lawn is still damp I took a route via the flowerbeds to the end of the garden when I went out to check on Ally & Pally. Fascinating path through the foliage. All sorts of nice little nooks and crannies I shall go investigate today. Especially the ferns - Hopefully will be home to a frog or two.

TWWLUTR (That Woman Who Lives Up The Road) is on the warpath again. Something has chomped her precious grass plants. Certainly Not Myself. They were somewhat rough and chewy and the taste simply wasn't worth the effort involved. Shall keep watch to find the culprit.

Fast and Wet

Next Door moved very fast and re-installed TB's flap. Most considerate of them. And we were not awoken by barking this morning. Nor by the Crow who seems to have taken the hint. (Wondered why TB looked so very satisfied when it returned from chasing the Crow yesterday.)

Not sure Myself is pleased with Her at home though - Covered all the grass with little bits of something and then watered it for hours last night. (No understanding Her at all sometimes.) Made the grass all wet and nasty to walk on. And remembering what happened last time I cannot bring Myself to take the longer route via the top of the fence.

Noises Off

The Crow arrived (with the usual raucous laughter at its own bad jokes) at 5am. Sadly TB was shut in (Neighbour had nailed some wood over the broken panel in the door where the flap used to be) so all it could do was bark. Long. And loud. Very loud.

After an inordinate length of time considering how much noise TB was producing, the back door was unlocked and like a streak of geriatric lightning TB was off. So was the Crow. TB arrived back with a satisfied smirk and we all went back to sleep. For 5 minutes until the alarm went off.

Flap was recovered jettisoned under a black currant bush late last night by Him.

Exit a Flap and a Daughter

Apparently when TB charged out through the flap yesterday morning to do battle with the Crow there was a small Regrettable Incident. The flap was last seen racing down the garden firmly attached to TB's neck.

No Moaning! Both Ally & Pally are serene chickens. Maybe I should let the vet know how we solved the problem?

Daughter has gone away again so Myself is now nesting in her duvet on a daily basis. Quite a neat ring of white fur and claw nibblings is emerging.

TB to the Rescue - Possibly

TB deserves a special recommendation. The Moaning has ceased. Utterly. This morning there are 2 contended and gently murmuring chickens. Not even the merest suggestion of a moan.

We all lay in bed far too long and listened to the tranquility outside.

Then the Crow arrived, shouting with vulgar laughter, and there was a loud crash as TB charged through the flap in its back door and out to do battle.

P

Ah. And Oops. TB created quite a fuss last evening. Had sat by the pen of Ally & Pally, listening to Moaning Minnie (aka Ally. Or maybe Pally) in its box. When the neighbour came out to settle them down for the night he took the box out and put it on the grass next to TB while he checked the nest box. (The moaning continued.)

It was all Too Much for a beagle of only limited understanding. Snuffed and walked around it a couple of times. Then, sad to say TB cocked its leg. From the squawks it sounded as though there was a direct hit through the ventilation holes.

Some time later a washed down, still very wet and for once silent chicken was returned to its pen. Without the box.

We await further events.

A Box and Only 7 remaining

The Moaning got too much for Ally & Pally's owners. Have shut the chicken in a dark box following advice from a vet. From which issue ghastly noises. TB is intrigued. (Don't imagine TB's ministrations will be of help.)

The Fredette brought its family back yesterday morning. Are now only 7 tiny balls of fluff and cheep. But 'Tis Not My Fault. (Tried one a few years back and it was horrid. Tickly and with absolutely no taste or flavour.)

Noises

Moaning Minnie aka Ally or Pally is getting to irritate Myself. Can anything be done I wonder?

YP and CM had a Coming Together underneath the blue tits' nesting box. They have both been sitting there, hoping a baby bird would drop into its mouth, providing a tasty snack with no effort, and yesterday they both arrived at the same time. Was rather nasty. And noisy. And not helped by screaming blue tit mum and dad. Afterwards I had to go snooze for a couple of hours on Her duvet to recuperate my strength.

Too Much Moaning

Ally (or is it Pally?) has taken to moaning. Moaning. Truly. A most horrible sound rather reminiscent of an over-tired small toddler. TB and Myself listened for a long (too long) time yesterday. Doesn't seem to be anything amiss with the chicken - It just moans, eats a bit, moans again, has a dust bath and moans periodically during that too. TB looked rather sweet as it squatted in front of the pen, tilting its head from one side to the other.

All Kinds of Babies

Watched for the new koi with TB for hours yesterday. Finally awarded a glimpse of the orange and white one. Then Daughter arrived with a net and started fishing for baby goldfish.

There are now 5 tinies in the kitchen tank. Funny shape the 2 from the pond - Flat but then almost circular when viewed from the side. And rather a pretty bronze-ish colour with golden highlights.

Suspect there are hatchlings in one of the blue tit boxes next door: CM and YP took turns to sit beneath. Hopefully.

And the Fredette is enormously proud of its brood. Guards them zealously. Don't quite know why. Nothing to fear from Myself. (All fluff and no taste.)

Aaaww and Ah

One of the Fredettes has introduced us to its family. Eleven tiny balls of fluff and cheep. Aaawww. TB was out back when they all arrived and went to investigate. Got cluttered at. Have never seen so much to-ing fro-ing as 11 enchanting miniature birds can achieve when they really try.

Crow has not returned so TB needs something to keep it occupied.

Daughter went out to get 2 baby goldfish for the kitchen tank and returned with rather more than we expected: Grown up koi. For the pond. (And 3 tinies for the kitchen.) Floated them in their bags for an hour to acclimatise and She and I admired them unendingly. One is bronze with a golden head and back stripe. The other is half red, half white. Very pretty. When He released them they hid in the weed and haven't been seen since. Ah.

Waiting

TB has infinite patience. Late last night it was still outside, waiting for the crow. Is back again this morning.

One of the new baby blackbirds got into the conservatory by mistake. What a mess! Careering around, bouncing off windows, feathers and allsorts all over the place. (I know She won't be happy having to clear it up, particularly the allsorts. The cleaning lady 'did' the conservatory last week.) It finally collapsed in a heap under the palm tree and He scooped it up and took it outside. Sat for a while on the harden table and then went to get comfort from Mum who was waiting in the quince tree.

Pinging and Clobbering

The new crop of baby blackbirds is pinging everywhere. As usual, no tails, so can only just about fly. Most of the time. Landing is variable. Always. Mum and Dad are keeping a very close eye on them.

The previous brood still hangs around begging to be fed. Must say that the parents are getting very fed up with them and want their own lives back. Yesterday 2 of them were feeding on the ground from the tray when the larger decided it didn't like sibling. Clobbered it hard a few times 'til it rushed off to complain to Dad. Who clobbered it too. Life is hard sometimes.

TB is lying in wait for the crow. Something tells me that bird is too intelligent to get caught out more than once. We shall see.