Some Can Catch Things, Others Can't

OLAHF has been seen sporting 3 pheasant tail feathers like enormous whiskers, and a very satisfied expression. It was obviously feeling much more comfortable in yesterday's drizzle and Myself assumes it has been Up To Something.

TN continues to gallop manically through the fallen apples in its efforts to catch a wasp. Thus far without success. And the blackbirds are getting highly irritated at having their breakfast, lunch and dinner continuously interrupted by an Out Of Control beagle.

This morning the New (and even more nervous) Fred is skulking in the bushes. Minus its tail.

Disaster Is Inevitable

TB has invented a new game which is bound to End in Disaster: The apples having started falling and the wasps have started gathering. TB has discovered that if it powers through the fallen fruit the wasps buzz off in all directions whereupon it leaps into the air trying to catch one.

OLAHF was discovered paddling on the edge of the pond. This too could could easily End in Disaster.

Meantime She is making a silken cloth (with tassels) to put over the crystal ball on the brass chicken foot. ????

Wet

For once one of His highly un-funny jokes misfired. He was watering the plants yesterday evening and OLAHF wandered hotly past the end of the garden. So He took aim and sprayed it gently. (Was watering Her small plants and She gets Most Annoyed if He squashes them with a powerful jet of water.) OLAHF paused in mid-stride, looked at the water trickling down its back, and sat down. After a while it turned round so the other side got wet, licked some of the spare water off the path, shook itself and then wandered off again. Dripping mightily but obviously Much More Comfortable.

The crystal ball has reappeared, sitting on top of a hideous brass chicken's claw that is 3 times life size. Is this another of His un-funny jokes Myself wonders.

Hot

There is a Most Unpleasant frog living under the plants by the hose reel. Big, yellow and black with a nasty expression. Whenever Myself walks past, it moves towards Me and wriggles. Very threatening. Shall make Mental Note to avoid that part of the path for a little while.

Weather is far too hot to do anything energetic. Even TB seems to feel overheated and its tongue is generally hanging out in a rather vulgar way. OLAHF is also suffering - Too much uncontrolled hair - and it spends much time simply lying around in the shade.

His hand is still very red from where His crystal ball set fire to it.

Shame

Yesterday They both left at 5am to go to an antiques fair. Came back at lunch time with bags and bags of really interesting Stuff. Couple of telescopes, few ink bottles, a brass something that They couldn't figure out, and some very sharp scalpels. (He wanted to try one out on My fur but She prevented Him. Quite sternly.) Naturally Myself was up on the Kitchen table helping to unwrap it all. As a Kind Gesture She arranged the wrapping papers neatly for Myself to lie on. Gorgeous, fascinating and hitherto unknown smells emanated from it all and kept Me busy for ages. He had also bought a crystal ball. (? Why?) and carried it to the back door for a closer inspection. Shame the sun was shining brightly. Shame it burned His had through the crystal. And a shame He dropped it on His toe.

Somersaults

Yesterday a new Fred came into the garden. Looked around, entered slowly, walked as far as the seed tray and then panicked when it saw Myself. As I was merely sitting beneath the berberis (the reddish hue of the new leaves makes a fitting and charming backdrop to My brilliant white fur) there was Absolutely No Need for such extreme action. And to be truthful I hadn't even really noticed it, being much more interested in the shenanigans of a pair of blue dragonflies by the pond. But the Fred considered Myself to be worthy of a panic. There you go. It rushed out of the garden and trod on a frog. Both turned a somersault.

Come Uppance

The 5th baby starling that had taken up residence under the fat ball in the weeping laburnum tree in order to repel all boarders has moved on. Not willingly, not happily, and very noisily indeed. And probably with a headache.

Kept up its little game for most of yesterday - and also munched through most of the fat ball so Myself is surprised it can still fly - until late in the evening. Then, just as dusk was falling and its brothers and sisters had gone to roost a large, extremely large, pigeon appeared on the scene. Landed heavily next to the fat ball for a snack. Naturally baby starling hurled itself upwards through the leaves and thumped it from beneath. With absolutely No Effect. The pigeon, quite unconcerned, merely continued eating. The baby tried again. And again. The pigeon continued eating. A slight pause ensued. The baby tried one more time. The pigeon neatly sidestepped and swiped it powerfully with beak and wing. It lost its footing and fell flappily to the ground in a murky brown heap. One more beakful and the pigeon too hopped down.

Exit starling, screaming horribly.

Much Entertainment

Sitting up on Their bedroom windowsill yesterday provided Much Entertainment: First a baby robin arrived to perch on the weeping laburnum where He had hung a fat ball. But it didn't land - Kept popping straight up in the air again and again like a fluffy jack-in-the-box. After a minute or 2 it flew away. Same thing happened with a great tit.

A little while later 4 of the family of 5 newly-fledged starlings (still murky brown and nothing like as gleaming as the parents) lined up on the back of a chair next to the laburnum. Occasionally squabbled and swapped places but none would venture onto the tree.

5 minutes later they were still there but one was hungrier than the rest and plucked up the courage to land by the fat ball. The tree immediately erupted into frenzied activity as the 5th baby starling hurled itself, screaming abuse, up through the leaves and thumped its brother extremely hard from underneath. And then dropped back inside. Happened more than times than Myself could count before the 4 gave up and went elsewhere for breakfast.

The new pump continues to leak gently. Water level in the pond is dropping which makes it difficult to have a drink safely. (Is also making the path very wet.) Hope They notice soon and do something or Myself will have to find an alternative drinking hole.

Has Started Badly

Ribs extremely sore this morning due to yesterday's rabbit. Tried for sympathy but They were Not Interested. Dreadful jelly-less meat for breakfast too. The day has started horribly badly. Shall go sleep on the clean (pale cream coloured) sheets. After ensuring My paws are damp and muddy by stomping around the back of the pond. (New pump is leaking slightly which They haven't yet noticed.)

TB has appeared with a new dressing on its shortened tail. Blue this time which is a large improvement on the delicate pink of last time.

Utterly Unforeseen

Was resting under a fruit bush following much Frenetic Activity when a large rabbit appeared and calmly started munching the grass. In spite of My Surprise I gathered Myself and sprang and dispatched it with a carefully placed whack on the back of its neck. Dragged My prize back to the house. Was a Severe Struggle getting through My cat flap as it was So Large and So Heavy and its legs kept jamming part way through, but finally made it and settled down for a meal. (No jelly again at breakfast so I had left it all in the dish in disgust.)

Then something Utterly Unforeseen happened. The rabbit woke up. Glared at Myself with a very basty expression and then kicked Me extremely hard in the ribs and bounded off round the kitchen. As it was a large and powerful rabbit it made Much Noise and Much Mess. Thought about leaving but it was travelling too fast to be certain Myself would escape without being run down so got up on the top of the microwave and waited. When She came in to investigate She screamed. Which brought Him in too. They opened the back door and shooed it out with flapping tea towels and a broom.

Why did Myself receive no sympathy for My bruised ribs?

Working Well

There is a new pump for the pond. 'Tis extremely large and sits at the back of the wildflower border behind the side of the pond by one of the old sheds. With lots of black pipes which She is going to cover with plants. Fishes weren't altogether sure about it at first as it was running somewhat too quickly and they were having to paddle like mad just to stay in the same place. The frogs all made a hasty exit. (Went to assist them but they turned down the offer of help and disappeared into the undergrowth.) Pond weed was circulating fast too, which made Myself dizzy watching. But He turned it down a bit and all is now well.

Apart from the path at the back - She insisted He test it to make sure it really was filtering all the dirt out. It was. A violent gush of mucky water spurted out high in the air. And rained down upon Her.

Less Than There Was

TB is returned to Us - but minus the end of its tail. Has a pink (Pink! For a beagle?) dressing wrapped around the end. Is still not the carefree and happy dog it was before its tail was slammed in the car door by mistake but is Most Definitely a little More Comfortable. Very pleased to see Myself and attempted to wag but it obviously hurt so instead it sat down (very gingerly) and smiled at Me.

The cherry tree has been visited by just about every starling and blackbird in the district but they all leave unsatisfied as there are no cherries left. Apart from one or two on the ends of high up twigs. A few intrepid birds have tried landing on these thin twigs but they get catapulted into the air as they are too heavy.

Annoyance

TB felt so poorly last night it was taken back to the vet. And stayed the night. Hope it's ok.

She and He picked all the remaining cherries yesterday. Much to the annoyance of the blackbirds and the family of starlings which had been feasting daily. (And dropping the stones on the lawn which was Uncomfortable for My delicate paws.) The starlings voiced their indignation Most Vociferously before removing themselves to the fruit bushes. Whereupon They followed them out at high speed with several bowls and picked as much as They could.

She made innumerable fruit crumbles and puddings during the afternoon. Can't understand why They raved about the fruit but the cream was Delicious.

Broken Bits

Oh dear oh dear. Poor poor TB had its tail slammed shut in the car door. (Paused on the way in to sniff at a bit of paper on the floor in the hope it contained food.) Have never heard a dog scream like that before. Was released and Much Comforted and taken to the vet immediately. Returned a while later with a large bandage on the end. Is now Most Dejected and Uncomfortable. When Myself went round it was curled up in a tight little ball and not wanting visitors. Shall go back later today, maybe with a small present.

Following the coming-together of Myself and a few of His plants in the greenhouse He spent a fairly unprofitable hour attempting to tie them back up. Didn't work and He finally admitted defeat and threw the broken bits in the wheelbarrow.

Second Thoughts

Have had Second Thoughts about the Nest Myself and TB made in the fresh straw at the back of the greenhouse. Was happy, warm and comfortable (and asleep) in there yesterday when was Most Rudely Awoken. And made Very Wet. He had decided to water His tomatoes and peppers with the hose. Was Not Funny although He thought it was. Squashed 2 peppers and part of a tomato plant on My way out. Glad to say that He didn't find that bit at all amusing.

Squawk and Flap

One of many (far too many) starlings landed on the big plant by the side of the pond. Have been eyeing this plant for some time - hangs neatly over the water and puts the fish within reach of a helping paw - and debating with Myself whether it would take the delicate weight of a slim and svelte Kitty of Superior Breeding. The leaves are certainly large enough to accommodate Myself easily but tend to sway slightly in the breeze which would be Rather Disconcerting. The starling was perfectly happy on the leaf and wandered around it pecking at tiny bugs but then disaster struck. It had come closer and closer to the edge and all of a sudden the leaf dipped violently down and deposited the starling in the pond. Much squawk and flap until it got itself out again. Am Extremely Glad Myself saw this occurrence before attempting to get on the leaf Myself.

Went for a sleep in My Nest at the back of the greenhouse where He keeps the fresh straw for Our chickens.

Gloriously Warm and Comfortable

Myself and TB found a lovely spot for a nap yesterday after My lunch (which I graciously shared with TB, the poor creature only ever getting dry biscuits at home) - At the back of the green house there is a pile of straw for Our chickens. 'Tis tucked away beneath the shelving and is most Gloriously Warm and Comfortable. Just enough room for the pair of Us, though TB had to leave its back legs out of the Nest We created. Had a long snooze in the sunny heat which was only marred by TB's habit of snoring and occasionally dribbling. Luckily Myself had the forethought to face in the opposite direction so it only made its own front paws damp.

Birdy Bits

Blackbirds and starlings are eating all the cherries. The tree positively heaves with them. (Birds not cherries.)

She went out to pick the gooseberries for a crumble and discovered the birds had got there first. Came back with only about a dozen. They are Not Amused.

Halleluia! An egg! cried out WOONN. Was going to pick up the chicken and kiss it but it knew what was coming and skipped out of the way just in time.

Wet and Dry

Fur beautifully clean and white again. Fell asleep under the garden table but there was a downpour and since the table is full of pretty holes Myself was really rather wet. Sat there for quite some time, getting wetter and wetter from the drips, but even so it was far far better than legging it (So undignified) back to the house through the deluge.

She was suitably sympathetic and helped immensely by brushing My fur back into shape after it had dried. He found it terribly funny to ruffle it all up on end when it was still wet so am no longer feeling guilty about the large fur ball. (Shame it wasn't even larger.)

Forgiveness

TB came round and was so glad to see Myself I forgave it the yobbish sniggering. And this morning Myself is most noticeably Less Pink so Things are Looking Up.

Left a lovely big fur ball in His slippers yesterday - And am now feeling just a little guilty as He gave Myself an appreciable amount of steak from His plate during dinner. Changed into His slippers immediately after We had eaten.

Pinkish

Has a very sore tongue from numerous attempts to clean off the pink cherry juice. And fur stubbornly remains pinkish. For once She was sympathetic and gave Myself a tremendously satisfying brush but without noticeable success. Have made a Mental Note to stay indoors or in deep shade in My garden until it fades. He suggested I lie down under the cherry tree on the other side so at least it would match. Very un-funny. Shall put a fur ball in His slippers.

Error of Judgement

'Tis Most Unusual but Myself has to admit to making a small (extremely) error of judgement yesterday. Was far far too hot to do much - even those essential little jobs no Well-Bred Kitty can exist without - so Myself lay down beneath the cherry tree for a snooze. Some time later was rudely awoken by an under-ripe cherry hitting the top of My head. Somewhat irritated at the blackbird's total Lack of Consideration I moved to the shade under the garden table to continue My rest.

Later, TB called round. Saw Myself and sat down, head to one side, tongue lolling out and sniggered. Definitely sniggered. With Superior Breeding and Upbringing Myself totally ignored it, but cut short the visit, not feeling particularly welcoming after its yobbish behaviour.

It wasn't 'til I caught sight of Myself in the kitchen mirror that the Awful Truth dawned. My beautiful fur was patchy pink from cherry juice. All over one side.

Cherries

My senior (aka Highly Superior Myself is sure) food pouch rather surprisingly didn't taste quite as good this morning. Plenty of jelly but it didn't provide the usual succulent enjoyment. (Wonder what OLAHF had for breakfast?)

The cherry tree is permanently inhabited by local blackbirds which are feasting on the extremely under-ripe cherries. Rather a struggle to get them off the twig which means they have to jump up and down with a cherry in their beak. Involves much fluttering and the occasional dropped fruit. No doubt they will all have internal upsets later on.